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The Rumour Mill — Sunday, April 12, 2026

The Rumour Mill

🕵️ THE RUMOUR MILL with your host, Bam-Bam Sally

⚠️ DISCLAIMER: Everything in this column is entirely fictional. All names, characters, and scenarios are invented for satirical and entertainment purposes. None of this is real. Sally made it up. Or did she?


GRINDING SINCE EASTER MORNING

The Mill don’t take public holidays. Whispers travel faster on a seawall than anywhere else in Georgetown, and Sally was taking notes.


RUMOUR #1: THE GAS CONTRACT MEETING

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Bam-Bam Sally — Sunday, April 12, 2026

Bam-Bam Sally

🔊 BAM-BAM SALLY REPORTING FOR DUTY “If yuh ain’t hear it from me, it ain’t worth hearing!”

⚠️ DISCLAIMER: Everything in this column is entirely fictional. All names, characters, and scenarios are invented for satirical purposes. Any resemblance to actual persons is coincidental and probably their own fault for being so recognisable.


EASTER BLESSINGS AND GRIEVANCES

Sally went to church. Sally ate cook-up. Sally flew a kite with she grandniece and the string cut she hand because she was holding it too tight, which is a metaphor for how Sally approach most things in life. She is aware.

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De Boys Seh — Sunday, April 12, 2026

De Boys Seh

Every Sunday, de boys lime by de road and assess de week. This is what dey seh.


FIRST THING FIRST: HAPPY EASTER

Doodoo seh happy Easter to everybody. Banna seh he ain’t eat so much since Christmas and he regretting it already. Fisherman seh he went to early mass, flew a kite with he nephew, and now he sitting down with a plate of cook-up that could feed a small regiment. We taking that as a positive report.

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Cousin Leroy Report — Sunday, April 12, 2026

Jamaica Brief

Cousin Leroy here. Calling in from the Bronx. I got the live stream open on my phone right now. Let me talk to you real quick.


ROAD MARCH SUNDAY AND I AM NOT THERE

I am watching Road March Sunday on a three-inch phone screen while eating a beef patty from the spot on Fordham Road. This is not how God intended me to spend Easter Sunday. The music is coming through the speakers just clear enough to make me emotional. My coworker Marcus asked why I looked sad and I couldn’t explain it to him. You wouldn’t understand, Marcus. You grew up in Ohio.

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Speedeet & Wilar: De Talent Show Disaster

Speedeet & Wilar

A Speedeet & Wilar Story


Wilar found out about the talent show the same way he found out about most of Speedeet’s plans — after it was too late to stop them.

“I signed us up,” Speedeet said, appearing at the gate on a Tuesday morning with the expression of someone delivering excellent news.

Wilar looked up from his book. “Signed us up for what?”

“De school talent show. End of next week. We going to juggle.”

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Yard Report — Sunday, April 12, 2026

Jamaica Brief

Good morning from Kingston, where the road march is already louder than the news.


IT’S ROAD MARCH SUNDAY

Jamaica Carnival hits its peak today — Road March Sunday, April 12 — and Kingston belongs to the masqueraders. Bacchanal Jamaica, Xodus, and a few thousand people in very little sequin are making their way through the streets. The soca is up. The sun is out. The coolers are stocked. For one Sunday in April, the city forgets itself and dances. We endorse this fully.

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Miss Violet's Barbados — Sunday, April 12, 2026

Bajan Brief

Good morning. Miss Violet has had her tea. She is ready.


BARBADOS AS A REGIONAL CONVENER: THIS IS CORRECT

Thirteen countries. A three-day workshop. Prison intake reform. Hosted here, in Bridgetown, at the Lloyd Erskine Sandiford Centre. Barbados’ Angela Dixon of the Probation Service was among the lead voices in the room. This is exactly what this country’s regional role should look like: not shouting, not posturing, but convening, facilitating, and leading through expertise. Miss Violet taught civics for thirty-one years. She knows the difference between a country that performs leadership and one that practises it. Barbados practices it. She is pleased.

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Bajan Bugle — Sunday, April 12, 2026

Bajan Brief

Good morning from Barbados. The sun is doing what it always does. The news is doing what it usually does. Let us proceed.


BARBADOS HOSTED THE CARIBBEAN PRISON REFORM WORKSHOP

Officials from 13 Caribbean countries gathered at the Lloyd Erskine Sandiford Centre in Bridgetown from March 25-27 to overhaul how inmates are assessed when they first enter custody. The UNDP’s PACE Justice project and the EU-backed EL PACCTO 2.0 organised the event. The goal: better intake assessments, fewer people held unnecessarily before trial, and real pathways toward rehabilitation from the first day. Representatives came from Antigua, Belize, Dominica, Guyana, Saint Kitts, Saint Lucia, Trinidad, the Bahamas, Grenada, Saint Vincent, Jamaica, and Suriname. Barbados provided the venue, the chair, and — from the Probation Service’s Angela Dixon — some of the best thinking in the room. This is what regional leadership looks like when it isn’t shouting at anyone.

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Auntie Cheryl From Chaguanas — Sunday, April 12, 2026

Trini Brief

Good Sunday morning! Auntie Cheryl just came back from early mass and she has a LOT on her heart.


McDONALD BAILEY. LORD HAVE MERCY.

More than twenty years in prison for something he did not do. Acquitted. Given back his freedom. And then shot dead on a Saturday morning before he even had time to really live as a free man. Auntie Cheryl sat down when she read that. She is still sitting. There are no good words for this. None. You pray for his family. You pray for this country. And you wonder, very quietly, what the prison system owes a man like that, and what it can never actually pay.

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Trini Dispatch — Sunday, April 12, 2026

Trini Brief

Good morning. Pour a strong coffee. The week left a lot to untangle.


THE CARICOM WAR IS NOW AN INTERNATIONAL STORY

What began as a regional dispute over Venezuela policy and the reappointment of CARICOM’s Secretary-General has now crossed into the international press. The Associated Press is covering it. The core: PM Persad-Bissessar has spent months demanding that Secretary-General Carla Barnett not receive another term, citing Trinidad’s position that CARICOM sided with what she calls a “Maduro narco-government” through the zone-of-peace framework, and that Trinidad pays roughly 22 per cent of the bloc’s budget and has nothing to show for alignment it never agreed with. Regional leaders have pushed back. The emergency Friday meeting produced no resolution. Persad-Bissessar is not softening. This is either a principled stand or a regional fracture — possibly both, simultaneously.

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Ramesh Sees It Differently — Sunday, April 12, 2026

Ramesh Sees It Differently

Good morning. Sunday. Ramesh is reflective, as all good citizens should be on the Lord’s day.


THE GDF IS DOING ITS JOB AND DOING IT WELL

More than 24 hours into the search-and-rescue operation for the ASL pilot in Region Eight, the Guyana Defence Force’s 31 Special Forces Squadron has navigated some of the most brutal interior terrain in the country and arrived within visual proximity of the crash site. This is not an easy thing. This is not a small thing. The GDF has been praised nationally for its Herculean effort, and the praise is warranted. The state mobilised. The state delivered. Ramesh notes this without qualification.

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The Guyana Daily Brief — Sunday, April 12, 2026

Daily Brief

Good morning. Pour yourself something strong. Sunday’s news does not slow down.


GDF WITHIN VISUAL RANGE OF CRASH SITE — PILOT STILL UNACCOUNTED

More than 24 hours after the ASL Cessna went down in the Region Eight jungle, the GDF’s 31 Special Forces Squadron has reached a position within visual proximity of the wreckage. Getting there required climbing steep escarpments through dense mountain forest — the kind of terrain that reduces experienced special forces to fighting for every metre. A Bell 429 helicopter with a hoist is circling above; a Skyvan is supporting operations. Captain Ryder Castello, the Nicaraguan pilot, has not yet been confirmed alive or dead. The Aviation Operators’ Association of Guyana says private operators are giving full assistance. Everyone is praying. Everyone is watching. The clock has been running for over a day.

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Cousin Leroy Report — Saturday, April 11, 2026

Jamaica Brief

Cousin Leroy here, checking in from the Bronx. Just got off a double shift. Let me catch up.


BUNNY SHAW DID WHAT AGAIN

Four-zero. Hat-trick. Against Antigua. I been saying for years — Bunny Shaw is the greatest thing to come out of Jamaica since the jerk seasoning patent got complicated. My coworker Derek was arguing with me about women’s football last week and I just sent him the scoreline this morning. No caption. He understood.

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Yard Report — Saturday, April 11, 2026

Jamaica Brief

Good morning from Kingston, where the heat is already doing its best and the week’s news is already doing its worst.


SPANISH TOWN FIRE KILLS 14-YEAR-OLD GABRIELLA WRIGHT

A house fire in St John’s Garden, Spanish Town on Friday evening killed 14-year-old Gabriella Wright. Her brother ran through the flames and survived with critical injuries. Her mother, Suzette Campbell, was returning home when she saw the smoke — arrived to find her daughter gone, her son burning, her everything destroyed. The cause is still under investigation. The family has nothing. This is the kind of story that gets three paragraphs in the Observer and then disappears beneath the racing results.

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Miss Violet's Barbados — Saturday, April 11, 2026

Bajan Brief

Good morning. Miss Violet is seated, coffee in hand, ready to speak.


THE DROUGHT WATCH

A Hydrological Drought Watch has been declared for April. Groundwater is low. The authorities are asking for water conservation. Miss Violet has been asking for a national water conservation education programme since before most of you were born, and has been told variously that it is “not the right time,” “not in the budget,” and once, memorably, “people already know about water.” They do not. The evidence is the drought watch.

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Bajan Bugle — Saturday, April 11, 2026

Bajan Brief

Good morning from the rock. The sun is out. The reservoir is not full. Let’s proceed.


HYDROLOGICAL DROUGHT WATCH DECLARED FOR APRIL

Barbados is officially under a Hydrological Drought Watch this month. Groundwater levels are below seasonal norms. The Meteorological Service would like you to conserve water. The Barbados Water Authority would like you to conserve water. The Bajan Bugle would like you to conserve water. You will not conserve water. This is the annual ritual. It will rain in May and we will have this conversation again next April.

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Auntie Cheryl From Chaguanas — Saturday, April 11, 2026

Trini Brief

Good morning! Auntie Cheryl calling from Chaguanas, just finished my puja and ready to talk news!


NGC MADE THREE BILLION DOLLARS AND AUNTIE CHERYL IS PLEASED

Three billion, two hundred and eighty-five million dollars profit! Best year in eleven years! Kamla announced it in Parliament yesterday and Auntie Cheryl nearly choked on her sada roti. Stuart Young came out immediately to say it’s not Kamla’s doing — but Stuart, darling, somebody has to be in charge when the numbers look good, and the lady standing at the podium seems to have found that position. Auntie Cheryl will take the win.

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Trini Dispatch — Saturday, April 11, 2026

Trini Brief

Good morning. Pour some bitters in your cocoa tea and settle in.


PERSAD-BISSESSAR DEMANDS CARICOM SECRETARY-GENERAL EXIT

Trinidad’s row with its Caribbean neighbours — simmering since the disputes over US drug policy, Venezuela, and the reappointment of the CARICOM Secretary-General — boiled over publicly on Friday. PM Persad-Bissessar is now demanding that the Secretary-General not receive another term past August. The fight is officially no longer subtext. What began as a disagreement about procedures at the Basseterre summit has become a Caribbean diplomatic fracas of the first order. Guyana’s President Ali, notably, had just shaken hands with Persad-Bissessar in Port of Spain hours earlier on the bilateral trade agenda, which means the region is simultaneously having a unity summit and a breakup. This is the Caribbean. Both things fit on the same Friday.

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Ramesh Sees It Differently — Saturday, April 11, 2026

Ramesh Sees It Differently

Good morning. Ramesh is well. Ramesh had a productive Easter. Let us proceed.


THE PRESIDENT WENT TO TRINIDAD AND SPOKE TRUTH

President Ali addressed the Trinidad and Tobago Chamber of Industry and Commerce on Friday, and the speech was, in a word, visionary. He laid out the full case for a Guyana-T&T economic partnership that could reshape the region — energy integration, food security, technology exchange, soybeans, cocoa, storage infrastructure — and he did it with the kind of bluntness that only a leader operating from a position of strength can afford. “Lock ourselves up for 72 hours and fix the damn problem.” That is not the language of a man who is uncertain about where his country is headed. It is the language of a statesman who has run out of patience for ceremonial slow-walking. PM Persad-Bissessar agreed on a full development agenda and will visit Guyana soon. Progress.

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The Guyana Daily Brief — Saturday, April 11, 2026

Daily Brief

Good morning from Georgetown. Here’s what you missed while you were sleeping off Easter.


PLANE DOWN IN REGION 8 — PILOT STILL MISSING

An Air Services Limited Cessna 208 went down Friday morning somewhere between Mahdia and Imbaimadai in dense, mountainous jungle. The pilot — Nicaraguan national Captain Ryder Castello, 20 years of experience, employed with ASL for ten of them — departed at 8:10 a.m. and was due at 8:40. He never called in. The crash site has been located on the side of a mountain, the hard part is getting to it. The GDF dispatched special forces and medical personnel via Bell helicopter, but the terrain requires climbing one mountain and descending the other side. Weather at the time: heavy rainfall, reduced visibility. Everybody is racing against the clock.

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