CLE RAMESH’S HOT TAKE
Sunday, January 11, 2026
[Uncle Ramesh on his verandah, Sunday paper in hand, reading The Brief’s Sunday edition, shaking his head so hard the neighbors looking]
Listen nah, it’s SUNDAY! Day of REST! Day of PEACE!
And this youngin’ at The Brief write the LONGEST article yet and STILL managing to miss every single point!
Let Uncle Ramesh break down where The Brief went wrong (AGAIN).
EDS STRIKE BACK" - BRIEF RUNNING OUT OF STAR WARS TITLES
The Brief says: “The Mohameds Strike Back (The Musical)”
Uncle Ramesh says: This ain’t entertainment! This is DYSFUNCTION!
What The Brief Focuses On:
- Mohameds filing appeals (yawn, we know!)
- Lawyer’s catchphrase
- Kaieteur’s 4,000+ articles
What The Brief IGNORES:
- WHY the system allows infinite appeals
- WHO benefits from delays
- WHAT reforms needed
Same Story, Different Day:
The Brief been writing about Mohameds since JANUARY 8! That’s 4 DAYS straight! Same complaints! Same jokes! NO NEW ANALYSIS!
Uncle Ramesh’s Question: If The Brief SO tired of Mohamed stories, WHY they keep writing the same thing over and over?!
DO BETTER JOURNALISM!
OES HIGHWAY PART 47: THE BRIEF CAN’T LET IT GO
The Brief says: “25 months and needs repairs!”
Uncle Ramesh says: 25 months is TWO YEARS, child! Not 13 months!
The Brief on Thursday: “Highway lasted 13 months!”
The Brief on Sunday: “Highway lasted 25 months!”
WHICH ONE IS IT?!
Let Uncle Ramesh do the ACTUAL math:
- December 2023 to January 2026 = 25 months
- First complaints? March 2025 = 15 months
So: Highway worked for 15 months BEFORE complaints, now at 25 months getting fix.
That’s Different From: “Lasted 13 months” or “falling apart immediately”
The REAL Story: Concrete highway uneven after a year (annoying). Government fixing with asphalt (reasonable). Government LYING about “always the plan” (dishonest).
Report the TRUTH, not exaggerate for jokes!
STATS: THE BRIEF STILL CAN’T UNDERSTAND NUMBERS
The Brief says: “More people died but crime is down? Pick your metric!”
Uncle Ramesh says: IT AIN’T “PICK YOUR METRIC”! They DIFFERENT METRICS!
Let Uncle Ramesh explain AGAIN since The Brief ain’t listening:
Overall Serious Crimes: DOWN 25.5%
(Robberies, burglaries, larceny, assault, etc.)
Murders: UP 11%
(Specific category within overall crime)
BOTH TRUE SIMULTANEOUSLY!
Example: If robberies down from 500 to 250 (down 250 cases) And murders up from 120 to 134 (up 14 cases) OVERALL crime DOWN even though murders UP!
This Is Basic Math!
The Brief: “Government is lying!”
Uncle Ramesh: “You don’t understand statistics!”
The REAL Criticism: Government SHOULD say: “Overall crime down significantly, but we’re very concerned about murder increase and here’s our plan…”
Instead they ONLY focus on positive numbers.
But The Brief ALSO Wrong: Acting like government LYING when they not! The numbers BOTH true!
BOTH Government AND The Brief being dishonest!
Only Uncle Ramesh telling FULL truth!
ITION STILL MISSING" - THE BRIEF BLIND AND DEAF
The Brief says: “Where is the opposition? Seriously, where?”
Uncle Ramesh says: Open your EYES and EARS, child!
This Week Alone, Opposition:
- Protested third-country deportation deal
- Called out Mohamed case delays
- Questioned infrastructure spending
- Criticized government silence on Venezuela
The Brief: “Where are they?”
Uncle Ramesh: RIGHT IN FRONT OF YOU!
The REAL Issue: Parliament can’t convene until Mohamed elected Opposition Leader. That’s DIFFERENT from “opposition missing!”
They THERE! They VOCAL! You just not PAYING ATTENTION!
ER GATE: THE BRIEF FINALLY ASK GOOD QUESTIONS!
The Brief says: “Mohamed claims squatters on his land… conspiracy?”
Uncle Ramesh says: GOOD! Ask questions! Investigate!
This Is Actual Journalism:
- Who the squatters?
- Who tell them they could be there?
- Why police transferred?
- What the timeline?
Uncle Ramesh Approves! ✓
See? When The Brief INVESTIGATES instead of MOCKS, they do good work!
More of THIS! Less of “Star Wars” titles!
âš¡ GPL CONTRACTORS: THE BRIEF REPEATING THEMSELVES
The Brief says: “Contractors still threatening grid”
Uncle Ramesh says: You wrote this THURSDAY! And SATURDAY! Now SUNDAY!
WE KNOW! Contractors dangerous! You told us THREE TIMES already!
New Information? None!
New Analysis? None!
Just Repeating? Yes!
This Is Lazy Journalism!
If you gonna report same story multiple days, at LEAST add NEW information each time!
HE BRIEF REALLY MISSED (COMPREHENSIVE LIST)
1. Mohamed System Reform:
Been complaining for 4 days. ZERO suggestions for reform. Just complaints.
2. Heroes Highway Context:
Numbers keep changing! 13 months? 25 months? Get it straight!
3. Crime Stats Literacy:
Still don’t understand how overall crime and murder rates both true.
4. Opposition Visibility:
Literally blind to opposition actions. Need glasses?
5. Infrastructure Positives:
Aishalton working! Other projects progressing! Where that coverage?
6. Repetitive Content:
Same stories 3-4 days in a row with no new info!
RAMESH’S SUNDAY SCORECARD
The Brief This Week:
Thursday: 40% accurate (Venezuela take too jokey)
Friday: 35% accurate (missing context everywhere)
Saturday: 37.5% accurate (can’t do construction math)
Sunday: 30% accurate (repetitive + still can’t understand stats)
Weekly Average: 35.6%
That’s an F, Brief! An F!
HE BRIEF NEEDS TO DO BETTER
1. STOP REPEATING STORIES
Mohamed story 4 days straight? ENOUGH!
2. LEARN STATISTICS
Both numbers can be true! Basic math!
3. WATCH THE OPPOSITION
They there! You not looking!
4. GET FACTS STRAIGHT
13 months or 25 months? PICK ONE!
5. BALANCE CRITICISM
Some things working! Report those too!
6. DO INVESTIGATION
Squatter story good! More like that!
7. STOP WITH MOVIE TITLES
Star Wars references ain’t journalism!
WORD FROM QUEENS
Four days. Four editions. Same stories. Same jokes. Same misunderstandings.
The Brief Got Better At:
- Asking questions about squatters ✓
- Taking contractor safety serious ✓
The Brief Still Bad At:
- Understanding statistics ✗
- Tracking opposition ✗
- Getting facts straight ✗
- Not repeating themselves ✗
- Balanced reporting ✗
Uncle Ramesh’s Advice: Take a BREAK! Do RESEARCH! Learn MATH! WATCH the opposition! And for God’s sake, STOP writing about Mohameds every single day unless you have NEW information!
Messages for The Brief:
On Mohameds: We GET IT! Move on unless you got NEW info!
On Heroes Highway: Get your numbers straight! 13 or 25? DECIDE!
On Crime Stats: LEARN STATISTICS! I’m begging you!
On Opposition: OPEN YOUR EYES! They literally everywhere!
On Squatters: GOOD JOURNALISM! Keep investigating!
On GPL: You told us THREE TIMES! We heard you!
On Weekly Coverage: Too repetitive! Need MORE variety!
My wife calling me for Sunday lunch. At least THAT consistent, unlike The Brief’s facts!
Happy Sunday, Guyana. Read The Brief for laughs, but come to Uncle Ramesh for TRUTH!
— Uncle Ramesh
Calling from Queens, NY
Where we know repeating yourself ain’t journalism
â±ï¸ Uncle Ramesh Talk Time: 6 minutes
☕ Coffee consumed: 3 cups (needed it for this one)
s I corrected The Brief:** Too many to count
f’s Weekly Grade:** F (35.6% average)
tration level:** MAXIMUM
Still love both Guyana AND The Brief:** Yes (somebody gotta!)
cle Ramesh: Grading The Brief’s homework since 2026!
Share this if you think The Brief needs to go back to journalism school!