Good morning, Guyana! ☕
Welcome to Tuesday, where census data finally arrives (only 4 years late!) and Parliament continues its record-breaking streak of doing absolutely nothing.
Today’s menu: Census numbers drop after a 4-year delay, oil wells still racing toward empty, Parliament enters Week 11 of ghosting us, and unauthorized supermarkets get shut down faster than you can say “planning permission.” Also, Guyana can’t say no to the US. Shocking, we know.
Another day in paradise!
📊 TODAY’S NUMBERS
Population (2022 census): 878,674 (finally released!)
Projected population (2024): 956,044
Years to release census: 4 (most countries: 6-12 months)
Oil wells lifespan: 3 years remaining
Parliament sessions: Still 0 (Week 11!)
Unauthorized businesses shut down: 1 (Bel Air supermarket)
Businesses still operating illegally: 87% of all others
📊 CENSUS DROPS AFTER 4-YEAR NAP
The Bureau of Statistics finally released the 2022 Census results yesterday. You know, the census from 2022. It’s now 2026.
The Numbers:
- Census day population (2022): 878,674
- Projected population (end 2024): 956,044
- Time it took to release: 4 years
- Average time for other countries: 6-12 months
For perspective:
Most countries release preliminary census results within 6-12 months. Final results within 2 years.
Guyana? 4 years for preliminary results.
By the time we get final results, it’ll be time for the next census!
What took so long? The Bureau of Statistics isn’t saying, but we have theories:
- Excel kept crashing
- Someone forgot the password
- Had to count people twice to make sure they were still there
- The abacus broke
- Needed to verify, then re-verify, then verify the re-verification
Why it matters: For 4 years, we’ve been making budget allocations, planning infrastructure, and distributing resources based on… vibes? The 2012 census? A ouija board?
Census data drives:
- Budget allocations (how much each region gets)
- Infrastructure planning (where to build roads, schools, hospitals)
- Resource distribution (who needs what)
- Electoral boundaries (voting districts)
- Policy decisions (everything else)
So for 1,460 days, we’ve been flying blind. But hey, at least we were flying blind together!
The projection: Population grew from 878,674 (2022) to 956,044 (end 2024). That’s growth! That’s people staying instead of leaving! That’s… based on math from 4-year-old data, but we’ll take it!
By the time we get final results, it’ll be 2027 and we’ll need to start the 2030 census. The circle of (statistical) life!
🛢️ OIL WELLS: STILL RACING TOWARD EMPTY
Remember yesterday when we told you Liza One and Two will be empty in 3 years? Still true today! The countdown continues.
The situation:
- Should last: 20 years each
- Will actually last: 3 years total
- Current pumping rate: 140,000 barrels per day
- Barrels left: Getting smaller every minute
- Government strategy: Pump everything NOW, diversify… eventually
What this means:
By 2028, Liza One and Two will be tapped out. Empty. Done. Finito.
Meanwhile, we’re still working on that whole “diversify the economy” thing. Any day now!
The wells are emptying faster than we can say “sustainable development strategy.”
The government’s defense? “We’re getting the money NOW while oil prices are good!”
Translation: We’re selling everything before the market crashes. It’s like liquidating your entire stock portfolio before a recession. Very bold strategy!
The irony: We’re racing to pump all our oil before prices crash, which will help crash prices faster, which means we should pump even faster, which will crash prices even more, which…
You see the problem.
What we’re building with oil money:
- Roads (good!)
- Bridges (excellent!)
- Gas-to-Energy plant (still “on track”!)
- Diversified economy (working on it!)
- Long-term strategy (TBD!)
At least Gas-to-Energy is “firmly on track” for completion. By the time it’s done, we might not have any gas left to energy. But the plant will look great!
🏛️ PARLIAMENT: WEEK 11 OF THE GREAT DISAPPEARING ACT
Update: Parliament still hasn’t met. Not even once. Since November 3rd.
That’s now:
- 11 weeks
- 77 days
- 2.75 months
- 1,848 hours of democracy on vacation
- 110,880 minutes of legislative silence
The holdup: Speaker Manzoor Nadir refuses to call Parliament because he doesn’t want Azruddin Mohamed (the extradition guy, the 47-appeals guy, THAT Mohamed) to become Opposition Leader.
Meanwhile, waiting for Parliament:
- The 2026 budget (you know, the one that funds everything)
- Venezuela crisis discussion (kind of important!)
- Oil depletion debate (3 years left, maybe talk about it?)
- US deportee talks transparency (still secret!)
- Constitutional reform (paused indefinitely)
- Opposition Leader appointment (the whole problem!)
- Literally everything else (on hold!)
Status: Parliament more missing than the Opposition Leader they refuse to appoint
Western diplomats are concerned: US, UK, Canadian, and EU ambassadors all gently suggested that maybe democracy requires a functioning Parliament.
The US Ambassador: “We recognize the importance of a functioning opposition.”
Translation: “Guys, seriously, just hold a session already.”
Government response: Strategic silence intensifies
At this rate:
- The Liza oil wells will run dry before Parliament meets
- The next census will be due before Parliament meets
- We’ll have final 2022 census results before Parliament meets
The real question: What happens first?
- Parliament meets
- Mohamed gives up appealing
- Gas-to-Energy finishes
- Oil wells empty completely
Smart money: All tied for last place.
🏪 UNAUTHORIZED SUPERMARKET GETS INSTANT JUSTICE
In a rare display of swift government action, the Central Housing and Planning Authority shut down Sheng Lian supermarket in Bel Air immediately for operating without planning permission.
The timeline:
- Supermarket opens without permission
- CH&PA notices
- CH&PA acts
- Cease and desist order issued
- Total time: Days, maybe hours
The response: Lightning fast! Impressive! Swift! Like they meant business!
Wait a minute…
So you’re telling us CH&PA can:
- Spot unauthorized operations instantly
- Issue cease orders immediately
- Act with lightning speed
- Enforce planning laws without hesitation
But somehow:
- Parliament can’t meet for 11 weeks
- 87% of businesses operate illegally (consumer laws)
- Census takes 4 years to release
- Gas-to-Energy has been “on track” since 2020
- Opposition Leader still not appointed
The selective efficiency is remarkable!
To be fair: Planning violations are serious. You can’t just open a supermarket wherever you want. There are rules. Infrastructure. Traffic. Community impact. Public safety.
But also: Maybe apply this same energy to literally everything else?
Lesson learned: If you want government to act quickly, violate planning permission. Want to avoid government action? Just file 47 appeals or be 87% non-compliant with consumer laws.
The supermarket owners probably wish they’d just filed 47 appeals like the Mohameds. That seems to work better. Or operated for 70 years like Golden Gloves (RIP, shut down for paperwork issues).
🇺🇸 US DEPORTEE TALKS: GUYANA CAN’T SAY NO
Kaieteur News dropped some uncomfortable truth bombs about the US deportee “talks.”
The situation: US wants to deport people from other countries to Guyana (not just Guyanese nationals). Government says we’re in “productive discussions.”
The reality: Guyana has about as much negotiating power as a rum shop has against a hurricane.
Kaieteur News put it perfectly:
“Guyana is perfect. Not due to its vast spaces and great opportunities. Guyana is perfect for one reason only: it can’t say NO!”
The comparison: Same as the Exxon contract. One-sided. Handcuffs Guyana. Leaders reduced to messenger boys and smiley faces.
We smile, we sign, we say thank you, we take photos.
Why can’t we say no?
- We’re a small country (less than 1 million people)
- We need US support against Venezuela (territorial dispute)
- We need US markets for our products (trade)
- We need US everything (security, aid, investment)
- We have no leverage (none, zero, zilch)
What’s our bargaining position? Checks notes …we have nice weather? Friendly people? Good curry?
Opposition demands transparency. President Ali provides strategic silence. The “talks” may have already concluded. Guyana’s role? Sign here, smile for the camera, say “productive discussions.”
The pattern:
- Exxon contract: Can’t say no
- US deportees: Can’t say no
- Venezuela handling: Need US support
- Everything else: Can’t say no
Check the skies when it’s time to negotiate. That’s where our leverage flies off to. Somewhere over the Caribbean, probably near Barbados, living its best life.
💰 CONSUMER AFFAIRS: THE ONE THING ACTUALLY WORKING
In genuinely good news, the Competition and Consumer Affairs Commission is actually functioning!
Last year’s numbers:
- 506 complaints filed
- $509.6 million disputed
- 428 cases resolved (85% success rate!)
- $156 million recovered for consumers
- 1,331 business inspections conducted
That’s real money back in real people’s pockets. That’s governance that actually works. That’s a system that functions!
The only problem: 87% of businesses are still non-compliant.
But at least now consumers can fight back. At least now there’s a system. At least now there’s hope. At least now there’s recourse!
Rome wasn’t built in a day. The CCAC is building Rome one recovered dollar at a time.
Progress is progress!
Why it’s working:
- Public awareness campaigns (people know their rights!)
- Actual enforcement (consequences exist!)
- Follow-through (cases get resolved!)
- Money recovered (real results!)
The 87% non-compliance rate explains so much about daily life in Guyana. Why does buying anything feel like combat negotiations? Because 87% of businesses are operating in the Wild West!
But now at least you can file a complaint. You can get your money back. You can fight back.
It’s not perfect. But it’s progress. And we’ll take it!
🎭 OTHER NEWS THAT MADE US DOUBLE-TAKE
Criminal Backlog Drops: DPP announces cases down from 318 (2020) to 126 (2026). Actual measurable progress! Too bad Parliament can’t meet to pass new laws or reform the system.
House Still Collapsed: La Penitence residents waiting on temporary housing assistance. Government promises help. Ministry responded within 24 hours with assessment. Now waiting on actual help.
Banks DIH Still Making Beer: $13.7B malt plant operational and producing. At least our drinking needs are secure while everything else sorts itself out. Priorities!
Airfares Drop: Trans Guyana Airways cut hinterland fares by 7%. Real help for real people. Actual good news that makes actual difference!
📅 THE WEEK AHEAD
Tuesday: Census data already outdated (you are here!)
Wednesday: Parliament still won’t meet (Week 11!)
Thursday: Oil wells get one day closer to empty
Friday: Another business will probably open without permission
Weekend: Brief respite (but the problems don’t take weekends off)
Next Monday: Start this whole circus again!
🤔 THE QUESTION WE’RE ALL ASKING
If it takes:
- 4 years to release a census
- 11 weeks to not hold Parliament
- 6 years for Gas-to-Energy to stay “on track”
- 47 appeals to not leave the country
- Days to shut down one supermarket
- But years to fix 87% business non-compliance
How long does it take to actually fix something?
Answer: We’ll let you know when we find out. Still waiting on that data!
📝 THE BOTTOM LINE
The census finally dropped (4 years fashionably late, like showing up to a party after it’s over). Parliament continues its disappearing act (Week 11: The Legend Continues). Oil wells continue their race to empty (3 years and counting down). An unauthorized supermarket got shut down with impressive speed (efficiency exists!). And Guyana can’t say no to the US (shocking precisely nobody who’s been paying attention).
The pattern emerges:
- Census: Take your time (4 years is fine!)
- Parliament: Just don’t show up (11 weeks and counting!)
- Oil: Pump everything NOW, think later (or never!)
- Enforcement: Selective and mysterious
- International negotiations: Can’t say no, won’t say no
- Consumer protection: Actually working! (Small miracles exist!)
But here’s the thing: at least the CCAC is functioning. At least consumers can fight back. At least one system works. At least some money got recovered. At least progress is happening somewhere.
In Guyana, we take our wins where we can find them. Today’s wins? The census finally dropped (better late than never!) and the CCAC recovered $156 million for consumers (real money, real people!).
Tomorrow’s win? TBD (to be determined… eventually… maybe… we’ll see… check back in 4 years when the next census drops!).
Stay informed, Guyana. 🇬🇾
P.S. - By the time you finish reading this, approximately 2,000 more barrels of oil have been extracted from Liza. The countdown continues!
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