Disclaimer: De Rumor Mill is purely fuh entertainment purposes. We ain’t vouching fuh de truth of any ah dese stories — dis is jus wha people talkin’ ‘bout pon de road, in de market, and ova de fence. If yuh know someting different, good fuh you. We jus reportin’ wha we hearin’!
🎯 Bam-Bam Sally’s Rumor Rating System
Before we dive in, leh me explain how I does rate dese rumors:
| Rating | Meaning |
|---|---|
| 🔥 Hot Fire | Probably true, but spicy! Multiple sources confirming |
| 🤔 Sound Like Lie | But yuh wish was true! Too good to be real |
| 🙄 Who Tell You That? | Clearly nonsense, but entertaining |
| ✅ Confirmed! | Bam-Bam was right again! Receipts in hand |
Bam-Bam’s Track Record So Far: First week, so we starting fresh! Check back to see how many we get right!
Eh-Eh! Leh We See Wha Goin’ On…
Ow me darlin’ readers! Is yuh girl Bam-Bam Sally back again wid anodda edition of De Rumor Mill. Chile, dis week de talk sweet like cane juice and de whispers loud like market day at Stabroek. So pull up yuh chair, get yuh mauby, and leh we dig in!
🔥 HOT FIRE — De “Mystery Mansion” in Pradoville 3… Err, Silica City
So people, allyuh hear ‘bout de big-big house going up quiet-quiet in de new development? De one wid de pool dat look like it shape like Guyana? Word on de street is dat somebody — and me nah calling no name — done secure a whole corner lot fuh a price dat would mek yuh head spin.
De talk in de rum shop is dat construction workers seeing some real fancy-fancy materials coming in — marble from Italy, fixtures from Dubai. One man tell me he see a chandelier bigger dan he whole kitchen get deliver deh last Tuesday. Now, who building dis palace? Nobody know fuh sure, but people whispering is a “silent partner” of a very vocal somebody.
Why Hot Fire? Too many people seeing de same ting. Where deh smoke, deh fire!
🔥 HOT FIRE — De Airport Worker and De “Missing” Duty-Free
Eh-eh! So de latest bacchanal making rounds is dat one particular worker at CJIA apparently had a side hustle dat finally ketch up wid dem. Story goes dat fuh de last two years, certain high-end items — we talkin’ expensive perfume, designer bag, top-shelf liquor — been mysteriously “falling off de truck” between de warehouse and de duty-free shop.
But wait, it get better! Word is de person get ketch when dey try sell a whole case of Hennessy XO to a man who turn out to be related to somebody in customs. Small country, big problems! De person apparently gone on “extended leave” faster dan yuh could seh “audit.”
Why Hot Fire? CJIA security suddenly tight like drum. Someting definitely happen!
🤔 SOUND LIKE LIE — De Teacher and De Exam Papers
Oh Lord, dis one got parents in Region 4 in a whole uproar! De whisper goin’ round is dat a certain teacher at a certain secondary school was allegedly selling “advance peeks” at exam questions fuh $50,000 a pop. Some parents claim dey was approached, and when dey refuse, dey chile suddenly start getting “extra homework.”
Now de Ministry ain’t confirm nothing, but people notice de teacher in question suddenly “transfer” to a school way up in de interior right before term start. Coincidence? Maybe. But de parents dem talking plenty!
Why Sound Like Lie? $50,000 seem too cheap fuh dat kinda risk. But de transfer timing suspicious…
🙄 WHO TELL YOU THAT? — De Chinese Restaurant Dat Ain’t Selling Food
Alright, dis one been bubbling fuh a while now. Yuh know dat new Chinese restaurant dat open up on Sheriff Street? De one wid de fancy red lanterns? Well, people notice someting strange — de place always empty, yet it never close down.
One lady tell me she went in deh fuh fried rice, and de waiter tell she “kitchen close” at 6 PM on a Friday night. De lights always on, fancy car always park up outside, but nobody ever eating. De neighborhood convinced is either a money laundering front or a very, very unsuccessful restaurant.
Why Who Tell You That? Every new restaurant dat slow get dis label. Maybe de food jus bad!
🔥 HOT FIRE — De Beauty Queen and De Married Businessman
Chile, dis one juicy like ripe mango! De streets saying dat a former Miss Something-Something been spotted multiple times at a certain hotel in Kingston wid a businessman whose wife does host big charity events. De same businessman wife recently post on Facebook about “trusting God through trials” and “knowing yuh worth.”
Now de beauty queen done respond on she Instagram — without naming names of course — about “people making up stories because dey jealous of success.” But de hotel staff allegedly have STORIES. De man wife recently buy a whole new wardrobe and book a trip to Miami by sheself.
Why Hot Fire? When de wife posting cryptic Bible verses, someting definitely wrong!
✅ CONFIRMED! — De Phantom Pothole Fixer
Dis one actually nice! People in Campbellville been talking ‘bout a mysterious person who been filling potholes at night. Nobody know who it is, but every morning, holes dat been deh fuh months suddenly have fresh cement in dem.
UPDATE: We find out who it is! Is a retired PWD engineer who say he “couldn’t tek it no more” watching people damage dey car every day. He been buying cement wid he own pension money! De man is a HERO and de Mayor office say dey want to recognize him.
Why Confirmed? Bam-Bam track him down! Interview coming next week!
🤔 SOUND LIKE LIE — De Politician Wid De “Secret” Family
Okay, dis one been whispered fuh years, but lately people talking again. Word is a certain high-ranking official got a whole second family living comfortable in Suriname. We talking house, car, children in private school — de works.
De story goes dat de wife know but “looking de other way” because de lifestyle too sweet. But apparently de Suriname family starting to want to “come out” and claim dey share of tings, and dat causing some real headaches.
Why Sound Like Lie? Dis rumor been around since 2015 and nobody ever produce proof. But it refuse to die…
🔥 HOT FIRE — De Contractor and De “Recycled” Materials
Construction workers been whispering ‘bout a certain contractor who allegedly winning government contracts and den using substandard materials. De talk is dat concrete dat supposed to be Grade A is really Grade C mixed wid extra sand, and steel reinforcement bars getting swapped out fuh thinner ones.
One worker claim he get fire when he raise concerns. Another say a whole section of a project had to get quietly redo because it was sinking. De contractor in question still getting contracts left, right, and center though.
Why Hot Fire? Too many workers from different sites saying de same ting. And buildings don’t sink fuh no reason!
📊 This Week’s Rumor Scorecard
| Rating | Count |
|---|---|
| 🔥 Hot Fire | 5 |
| 🤔 Sound Like Lie | 2 |
| 🙄 Who Tell You That? | 1 |
| ✅ Confirmed! | 1 |
Bam-Bam Sally Final Word
Look, me dear readers, I does jus report what I hearin’. But NOW yuh know how serious to tek each story! When yuh see dat 🔥, pay attention. When yuh see 🙄, jus laugh and move on.
Got a rumor fuh me? Use de Submit a Tip form on de homepage! If it good, I might feature it next week wid me rating!
Until den, stay safe, mind yuh business (but keep yuh ears open), and remember — in Guyana, de walls got ears, de trees got eyes, and everybody cousin know everybody else business!
One love,
Bam-Bam Sally 🗣️
Bam-Bam Sally’s This Week in Rumors runs every Wednesday. De views expressed in dis column are purely satirical and for entertainment purposes. We do not vouch for de accuracy of any rumors reported. If yuh recognize yuhself in any story, dat’s between you and yuh conscience!