Government Goes High-Tech! 📱

Ministry of Public Works proud to unveil their revolutionary new app: “Report-A-Hole”

Minister at launch ceremony: “This app will TRANSFORM infrastructure management in Guyana!”

Uncle Ramesh, sitting front row, already downloading it before Minister finish talking.

Speedeet whisper: “Bai, you even know how to use app?”

Uncle Ramesh: “How hard it could be? Is just button and camera!”

Famous last words.

Monday Morning: De Beginning

6:00 AM - Uncle Ramesh Mission Starts

Uncle Ramesh wake up early, fully charge he phone, and decide to become Guyana’s #1 pothole reporter.

“If government want data, I go GIVE dem data!”

He start driving from Buxton to Georgetown, eyes peeled.

6:15 AM - First Pothole

BOOM! Giant crater near Buxton market.

Uncle Ramesh pull over, open app:

  • Snap photo ✓
  • Add location ✓
  • Severity rating: 8/10
  • Description: “Big hole, 2 feet wide, 6 inches deep”
  • SUBMIT ✓

App say: “Thank you! Report #00001 received. Response time: 3-5 business days.”

Uncle Ramesh feel like Superman. “I saving de nation, one pothole at a time!”

8:30 AM - The Marathon Session

By time Uncle Ramesh reach Georgetown, he done report 47 potholes.

Each one with photo. Each one with GPS. Each one with detailed notes.

He phone battery: 23% He data plan: Crying He satisfaction level: Through de roof!

Speedeet call: “Bai, where you dey? We was supposed to meet 7:30!”

Uncle Ramesh: “Sorry! I was busy doing CIVIC DUTY!”

Tuesday: De Waiting Game

Uncle Ramesh check app every hour.

All 47 reports showing: “UNDER REVIEW 🔍”

“Good,” he think. “Government working hard!”

He notice other people reporting too. App now showing 1,247 reports nationwide.

Uncle Ramesh to himself: “Guyanese finally participating in democracy! Beautiful!”

He report 23 MORE potholes just for good measure.

Wednesday: De Plot Thickens

Uncle Ramesh now at 70 total reports.

Status still: “UNDER REVIEW 🔍”

But he notice something funny - that massive pothole near LBI? It got 15 DIFFERENT reports from 15 different people!

Same hole, 15 angles, 15 descriptions.

Uncle Ramesh: “Everybody want credit for reporting de same hole! This is competitive civic duty!” 😂

Thursday: DISASTER STRIKES!

6:00 AM

Uncle Ramesh open app.

Screen show: “ERROR 503: Server Unavailable”

He try again. Same thing.

He try 5 more times. STILL error.

Uncle Ramesh starting to panic. “But… but… I had 3 new potholes to report!”

2:00 PM - Government Statement

Ministry release message:

“Report-A-Hole app experiencing technical difficulties due to OVERWHELMING response. We never anticipated THIS MANY potholes would be reported. Server capacity being upgraded. Back online soon.”

Wilar: “Dey never anticipated how many potholes Guyana have? Where dey been driving?”

Speedeet: “Probably helicopter.” 😂

Friday: DE BIG REVEAL

Morning - App Back Online!

Uncle Ramesh immediately check he 70 reports.

Status changed!

He eyes get BIG.

EVERY. SINGLE. REPORT. now showing: “COMPLETED ✅”

Uncle Ramesh JUMP out he chair!

“SEVENTY POTHOLES FIX IN ONE WEEK?! This is MIRACLE! This is RECORD! This is… this is… I gotta go see this!”

He grab he keys, RUSH to he car, and start de Grand Inspection Tour.

De Grand Inspection Tour (AKA: De Disappointment)

Pothole #1 (Buxton Market):

Uncle Ramesh park. Get out. Look at de road.

Pothole STILL DEY.

But now… it got a bright YELLOW CIRCLE paint around it.

Uncle Ramesh: “Wha… what is THIS?!”

Pothole #7 (Better Hope):

Still there. Yellow circle.

Pothole #15 (Enmore):

Still there. Yellow circle.

Uncle Ramesh starting to see a pattern.

Pothole #23 (Lusignan):

WAIT! This one ACTUALLY FILL! Real asphalt! Smooth road!

Uncle Ramesh: “Okay, okay, we getting somewhere!”

Potholes #24-46:

All still there. All with pretty yellow circles.

Uncle Ramesh: “I living in a coloring book?!”

Pothole #47 (Kitty Market):

Also ACTUALLY filled!

FINAL COUNT:

  • Potholes fixed: 2
  • Potholes painted: 68
  • Uncle Ramesh’s faith in technology: Shaken

Uncle Ramesh Calls Ministry

He HAVE to understand this.

Ring ring

“Ministry of Public Works, how can I help you?”

“Yes, I report 70 potholes, app say ‘COMPLETED,’ but only 2 fix. De other 68 just have PAINT on dem!”

“Please hold, sir.”

Hold music for 15 minutes - ironically, is Bob Marley “Everything’s Gonna Be Alright”

Technical Support guy (Jason) come on:

“Hello! You must be User #00001! Sir, you’re FAMOUS here! Minister mentioned you in morning briefing!”

Uncle Ramesh: “That nice and all, but what about DE POTHOLES?!”

Jason: “Ah yes, let me explain. The yellow circles mean we VERIFIED the location. The pothole is now in our system for SCHEDULING.”

Uncle Ramesh: “So ‘COMPLETED’ means y’all COMPLETE de PAPERWORK?!”

Jason: “Well… the report PROCESSING is completed, yes. The actual REPAIR is a separate phase based on priority, budget, and resources.”

Uncle Ramesh: “So when de ACTUAL holes getting fix?”

Jason: “That depends on various factors, sir. But your reports are VERY helpful for our planning database!”

Uncle Ramesh: “Planning database?! I could PLANT CASSAVA in some of these holes!”

Jason: “I understand your frustration, sir. Would you like to speak with a supervisor?”

Uncle Ramesh: “Never mind. Thank you.” Click

De App Store Reviews (Comedy Gold)

By Friday evening, de review section is FIRE:

⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ Speedeet: “Best comedy app of 2026! I laugh every time I open it! Forget Netflix!”

⭐ Wilar: “One star because I can’t give ZERO. My car suspension file a formal complaint.”

⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ Anonymous: “The yellow circles are aesthetic! Georgetown now look like abstract art installation! Very modern!”

⭐⭐⭐ SarahG: “App work perfect. Government response need software update.”

⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ RameshB: “10/10 entertainment value. Also my route now has glow-in-the-dark navigation! Potholes still there but at least I can SEE dem at night!” 😂

⭐⭐ TaxiDriver: “I now tell tourists: ‘Welcome to Guyana! See those yellow circles? That’s where government THINKING about progress!’”

⭐⭐⭐⭐ KrishnanC: “The circles are PERFECT diameter. Clearly someone took measurements. That’s dedication to mediocrity!”

Ministry Respond to Reviews

“We appreciate all feedback. Yellow marking is STANDARD INTERNATIONAL PRACTICE for infrastructure maintenance. We have processed 3,847 reports with 89% initial assessment completed. Repairs ongoing in phases based on available resources.”

Wilar: “Phases? We going need PHASES for de phases!”

Week 2: DE BIG UPDATE!

Government announce “Report-A-Hole 2.0” with “exciting new features”:

Feature #1: “Virtual Pothole Filling” Use your phone camera to see how the road WOULD look if pothole was filled!

Uncle Ramesh try it: “So I can SEE a smooth road on my phone while my CAR bouncing through de real hole?! BRILLIANT!” 😂

Feature #2: “Leaderboard”
See who reports most potholes!

Current standings:

  • #1: RameshB (127 reports) 🏆
  • #2: SpeedyDriver (89 reports)
  • #3: TaxiGuyGT (76 reports)

Uncle Ramesh: “I winning at something nobody should have to compete in!”

Feature #3: “Social Sharing” Share your pothole reports with #MyPotholeStory!

Speedeet: “Is this for SYMPATHY or COMEDY?”

Feature #4: “AI Pothole Prediction” Algorithm predicts where NEXT potholes will form!

Uncle Ramesh: “Dey can PREDICT future potholes but can’t FIX current ones?! We living in science fiction!” 😂

Wilar: “Maybe de AI can fill de holes too. Just send robot.”

Three Weeks Later: De Twist

Uncle Ramesh checking app again.

Something changed:

  • Original 70 potholes: 15 ACTUALLY FIXED! ✅
  • 8 more scheduled for next week
  • 47 still rocking their yellow circles

Uncle Ramesh grudgingly admit: “Okay… 15 is better than 0. I suppose.”

Speedeet: “You still using de app?”

Uncle Ramesh: “EVERY DAY! Just report 3 more this morning! And that pothole near de market from Week 1? Dey ACTUALLY fix it today!”

Wilar: “So… it working?”

Uncle Ramesh: “EVENTUALLY! Rome wasn’t build in a day. Georgetown roads won’t fix in a week. But at least now we have NUMBERED yellow circles! Is progress!” 😂

De Final Irony

Uncle Ramesh now explain de app to EVERYBODY:

“See, you report de pothole. Dey paint yellow circle. You wait. Maybe it get fix. Maybe not. But at least you PARTICIPATED in democracy! And your route now look like Connect-De-Dots game!”

Government actually send Uncle Ramesh certificate: “Most Active Citizen Reporter - January 2026”

Uncle Ramesh frame it and hang it in he living room.

Right next to he “I Survived De Pothole Apocalypse” bumper sticker.

MORAL OF DE STORY: Technology can’t fix everything. But it CAN make you laugh while you dodging potholes! 😂🇬🇾

Daily Laugh - Where we find humor in de holes!

Uncle Ramesh Got Something to Say:

Uncle Ramesh: De REAL Report-A-Hole Numbers - Get de facts (with charts!)