Good morning, Guyana! ☕
Welcome to Friday, where our oil fields are being liquidated faster than a closing-down sale, our Speaker fled to India while Parliament remains closed, and Exxon’s 75% “expense deduction” makes Nigerian email scams look amateur.
Today’s menu: The Great Oil Heist exposed (75% goes to “costs”), Speaker escapes to India during constitutional crisis, French Ambassador politely suggests democracy might be nice, Mashramani launches because at least we can party, and President Ali promises no Venezuela deals (this time he means it, promise).
Another day watching the future get sold off!
📊 TODAY’S NUMBERS
Oil Wells Lifespan:
- Original promise: 20 years
- Current trajectory: Under 10 years
- Explanation: “Don’t worry about it”
Parliament Status:
- Days closed: 80+
- Opposition Leader: Still TBD
- Speaker’s location: India
- Democracy score: Pending
Exxon’s Take:
- Revenue deduction: 75%
- Ring-fencing: None
- Taxes paid by them: $0
- Our share after “costs”: Good question
🛢️ THE GREAT GUYANESE OIL HEIST
Remember when they told us oil would last 20+ years? Plot twist: They’re draining Liza fields so fast they might be dry before your next car payment.
The Original Promise:
“Sustainable 20-year revenue streams for generational development!”
The Reality:
Record extraction speeds + no ring-fencing + 75% “cost recovery” = Your grandchildren’s inheritance is being sold off to boost Exxon’s quarterly earnings.
Translation: Projects meant to fund the next generation are being exhausted in less than a decade because someone prioritized corporate quarterly reports over national development.
💰 THE MATH DOESN’T MATH
Here’s How You’re Being Fleeced:
No Ring-Fencing:
In normal contracts, profits from Liza One stay with Liza One. In Guyana? Exxon takes money from YOUR oil today to pay for THEIR exploration tomorrow. You’re literally financing their future profits.
The 75% “Shaft”:
Exxon deducts up to 75% of every barrel for “expenses.” But here’s the trick: Because there’s no ring-fencing, this cost bank NEVER empties. It just refills with costs from new projects. Your 50/50 profit share? Perpetually out of reach.
Tax-Free Plunder:
Average Guyanese pays income tax. Exxon? Government pays THEIR taxes out of OUR share. So you’re paying taxes twice - yours AND theirs.
The Result:
Wells designed for 20 years being drained in under 10, while most of the money goes to “costs” that magically never decrease.
✈️ SPEAKER FLEES TO INDIA
Parliament hasn’t sat in 80+ days. There’s no Opposition Leader. The constitution is gathering dust. Democracy is on life support.
Speaker Manzoor Nadir’s solution: Fly to India for a conference!
The Timing:
- French Ambassador: “Maybe convene Parliament?”
- EU Ambassador: “Surely you’ll resume soon?”
- ABCEU partners: “Constitutional actors should act?”
- Speaker Nadir: “NAMASTE FROM INDIA! 🙏”
Currently in India meeting with:
- UK House of Lords members
- UK Speaker
- India’s Lok Sabha Speaker
Meanwhile in Guyana:
Opposition MPs are literally barred from electing their leader, Parliament remains closed, and democracy continues its unscheduled vacation.
The Optics: Flying internationally to discuss parliamentary procedures while refusing to convene your own Parliament is…a choice.
🇫🇷 INTERNATIONAL SIDE-EYE INTENSIFIES
French Ambassador Olivier Plançon (diplomatically): “I am confident Guyana’s democratic traditions will address these issues.”
Translation: “We’re politely reminding you that democracies usually have functioning Parliaments.”
EU Ambassador Luca Pierantoni: Would be “rather surprised” if Parliament doesn’t resume within weeks.
Translation: “We’re watching, and this is getting embarrassing.”
The ABCEU Position: Constitutional actors should resolve this per the law.
Translation: “Do your jobs.”
Guyana’s Response:
Speaker boards plane to India
🎭 MASHRAMANI LAUNCHES
Because if you can’t have democracy, at least have a party!
The Theme: “Expressing our Culture through Innovation and Creativity”
The Unspoken Theme: “Let’s Party While Our Future Gets Liquidated”
The Calendar:
- Jan 23: Banks Mash in de Avenue
- Jan 30: Guinness Pan in de Avenue
- Feb 14: Calypso Monarch in Mabaruma
- Feb 23: Full Mashramani madness
Why It Matters:
Mashramani 2026 promises to be spectacular. Just like our oil revenue promises were spectacular. And our democracy promises. And our—you get the idea.
The Reality:
Guyanese know how to celebrate. Even when there’s increasingly less to celebrate with each passing year.
🗺️ PRESIDENT PROMISES (AGAIN)
President Irfaan Ali: “Guyana will not strike a deal with the US to settle the Venezuela border controversy.”
Our Response: Sir, we’ve heard your promises before.
The Track Record:
- Promised anti-corruption czar (2020)
- Status: Still paddling from Russia, arriving 2030
- Promised transparency
- Status: 75% of oil revenue labeled “costs”
- Promised Parliament would function
- Status: Speaker in India
The Problem:
When you’ve broken so many promises, people stop believing new ones. Even important ones about Venezuela.
The Sad Truth:
Guyanese WANT to believe their President. But belief requires trust, and trust requires follow-through.
🏗️ INFRASTRUCTURE THEATER
Buzz Bee Dam Four-Lane: President visited construction site!
Also Happening:
- Oil wells being drained years early
- 75% of revenue disappearing to “costs”
- Parliament closed for 80+ days
- Opposition Leader position vacant
The Strategy:
Photo ops at road projects while the fundamental structures of democracy and resource management crumble.
It Works Because:
Roads are visible. Constitutional crises aren’t. Oil depletion rates require math.
📚 OTHER NEWS THAT MATTERS
Special Needs School Opens:
UAE partnership delivers Yas School of Inspiration. Actual good news! (We take wins where we can get them.)
Drug Busts:
- $1M marijuana farm destroyed (Canje Creek)
- 50 lbs cocaine seized (La Grange)
Translation: Crime continues while Parliament stays closed and oil revenue gets diverted to “costs.”
Teen Shot in Robbery:
13-year-old shot outside Brickdam Cathedral. In broad daylight. Welcome to paradise.
💭 THE UNCOMFORTABLE TRUTH
Guyana is experiencing a masterclass in how to liquidate a nation’s future while keeping people distracted with infrastructure theater and cultural celebrations.
The Formula:
- Drain oil fields faster than promised
- Let corporations take 75% for “costs”
- Close Parliament to avoid accountability
- Build some roads for the cameras
- Launch Mashramani
- Repeat
The Result:
In 10 years, the wells will be dry, Exxon will have moved on, and we’ll have some nice roads and a lot of unanswered questions about where all the money went.
🎯 BOTTOM LINE
What You Need to Know:
Your oil wealth is being liquidated faster than planned, with 75% going to “costs” that never decrease
Parliament remains closed while the Speaker attends international conferences about… parliamentary procedures
International partners are politely suggesting we might want to try democracy again
Mashramani 2026 launches today because apparently we can always find money for parties
President makes new promises while old ones collect dust
The Pattern:
Every Friday brings new evidence that our resource curse isn’t about having oil—it’s about how we’re allowing it to be extracted.
Stay informed. Stay skeptical. And maybe don’t believe promises about 20-year oil fields when they’re being drained in under 10.
Same circus, different Friday! 🎪
☕ Tomorrow: Saturday’s chaos continues (assuming Parliament stays closed and oil keeps flowing to “costs”)