Disclaimer: Uncle Ramesh is a proud supporter of de government. Dese bounties are satirical and offered in de spirit of “asking questions dat even supporters does wonder about.” All rewards are subject to availability, mood, and whether Uncle Ramesh remember he promise dem.
🎯 WELCOME TO DE BOUNTY BOARD
Awright family! Is Uncle Ramesh here, coming to you LIVE from me recliner in Queens!
Now look — me always saying de government doing GREAT tings. 37,000 solar panels! New airstrips! Bridges! Development EVERYWHERE!
But even me, de BIGGEST supporter, does have a few… let we call dem “curiosities.” Tings dat make me scratch me head and say “Hmm…”
So me putting up some bounties. Solve dese mysteries and win BIG REWARDS!*
*Rewards may or may not exist. Terms and Whose Friend Yuh Is definitely apply.
💰 ACTIVE BOUNTIES
BOUNTY #1: De $94 Million Day Care Mystery
Reward: One year of free babysitting
The Situation:
Government build a BEAUTIFUL $94 million day care facility. Ribbon cutting done. Photos taken. Speeches made. Everybody clap.
Dat was FIVE MONTHS AGO.
The Mystery:
Why it STILL not open? Building complete. Furniture inside. Staff hired (we think). But de doors LOCKED.
The Question:
What exactly are we waiting for? De children not getting any younger!
Evidence Required:
- Opening date
- Explanation for delay
- Photo of actual children inside
Reward Status: 🔓 UNCLAIMED
BOUNTY #2: De NIS $10 Billion Injection
Reward: Pension increase (amount TBD by government)
The Situation:
Government announce dey “injecting” $10 billion into NIS to make it sustainable. Great news! Pensioners rejoice!
The Mystery:
Where exactly did de money go? Into what? How it being used?
De fund STILL running deficit. Pensioners getting increases dat barely cover one extra roti per month.
The Question:
If $10 billion went in, why de fund still struggling? Show we de MATH!
Evidence Required:
- Detailed breakdown of where $10 billion allocated
- Audited financial statements
- Proof dat pensioners actually benefiting
Important Note: Me NOT saying anybody thief anything! Me just… curious. VERY curious.
Reward Status: 🔓 UNCLAIMED
BOUNTY #3: De Pothole Repair Budget Trail
Reward: $5,000,000 in asphaltic promises
The Situation:
Every year, BILLIONS allocated for road repairs. Every year, we hearing about “aggressive road maintenance programmes.”
The Mystery:
How de SAME potholes still deh? Some potholes so old, people giving dem NAMES. “Bertha” on Sheriff Street been there since me nephew was in primary school. He now have CHILDREN!
The Question:
Where de road money going? We not accusing nobody — we just want to see de receipts!
Evidence Required:
- List of roads actually fixed
- Before/after photos
- Explanation for why West Ruimveldt still crying
Reward Status: 🔓 UNCLAIMED (Since 1966)
BOUNTY #4: De Security Guard Airsoft Gun Scandal
Reward: One real firearm license (for qualified applicants only)
The Situation:
Security company caught with guards carrying AIRSOFT GUNS instead of real firearms. Dem was protecting a business with TOYS.
The Mystery:
- Who authorize dis foolishness?
- How long dis been happening?
- How many OTHER security companies doing de same?
- When criminal show up, dem guards was planning to yell “PEW PEW PEW”?
Evidence Required:
- Names of all security companies using fake weapons
- Number of businesses currently “protected” by toy guns
- Video of guards actually saying “pew pew”
Reward Status: 🔓 UNCLAIMED (but investigation ongoing)
BOUNTY #5: De Flooding Pump Paradox
Reward: One working drainage system
The Situation:
Government say ALL 13 PUMPS in Georgetown working. Minister Mustapha confirm it heself!
The Mystery:
If ALL pumps working… why Regent Street STILL flooding every time rain fall? Why Bel Air Park underwater? Why people still wading through ankle-deep water?
The Question:
Are de pumps working, or are dey “working” in de same way me old AC “working” — technically on, but not actually DOING anything?
Evidence Required:
- Video proof of all 13 pumps actively pumping during rainfall
- Explanation for continued flooding despite “operational” pumps
- Dry streets
Reward Status: 🔓 UNCLAIMED
✅ CLAIMED BOUNTIES
BOUNTY: Who Building All Dese Hotels?
Status: PARTIALLY CLAIMED
We asked why so many hotels building in Georgetown when tourism numbers don’t justify it.
Answer: Oil executives need somewhere to stay. Foreign investors need meetings. Business travel BOOMING even if vacation tourism not.
Reward: Grudging acceptance dat de economy actually growing.
📋 BOUNTY RULES
Evidence must be REAL - No speculation, no rumor, no “me cousin say…”
Keep it respectful - We asking questions, not making accusations
Uncle Ramesh is de final judge - And he biased toward de government, so yuh evidence better be GOOD
Rewards subject to availability - And by “availability” me mean “whether Uncle Ramesh feel generous dat day”
No opposition politicians allowed to claim - You all had yuh chance to run de country. You mess it up. Sit down.
💠UNCLE RAMESH FINAL WORD
Now look — before anybody say Uncle Ramesh turning on de government, let me be CLEAR:
De PPP doing MORE for Guyana than any government in history. Facts! De development REAL. De progress VISIBLE. De oil money FLOWING.
BUT… even de best government should be asked questions. Even de most loyal supporter should be curious. Dat is how democracy work!
So me putting up dese bounties not because me against de government — but because TRANSPARENCY is good for EVERYBODY.
Plus, some of dese mysteries genuinely bothering me. Like dat day care ting. WHY IT NOT OPEN?!
Anyway, if you got answers, come forward. If you got MORE mysteries, send dem to we.
Uncle Ramesh Bounty Board: Because even supporters does ask questions!
One Guyana — with accountability! 🇬🇾
Uncle Ramesh’s Bounty Board updates monthly. New bounties added as mysteries arise. Old bounties remain until solved or everybody forget about dem — whichever comes first.