Every Sunday, join two 12-year-old friends from Pike Street, Kitty as they navigate life in Guyana.
De Bad News
Friday Evening - Pike Street, Kitty
Speedeet burst through Wilar front gate like he running from a soucouyant.
Speedeet: WILAR! WILAR! BAI, COME QUICK!
Wilar: (mouth full of tennis roll) Wha happen? Who dead?
Speedeet: Nobody dead YET! But me brother Derek get BITE!
Wilar: Bite? By wha? Dog?
Speedeet: NAH bai! CARPET LABARIA!
Wilar: (tennis roll fall from he mouth) CARPET… yuh mean de SNAKE?! De one dat does KILL people?!
Speedeet: DE SAME ONE! He was by a creek at Tumatumari doing he GNS training and de snake just ATTACK he foot! Dem airlift him to Georgetown!
Wilar: Airlift?! Like in a HELICOPTER?!
Speedeet: YES BAI! Me brother fly in helicopter before ME! Life nah fair!
Wilar: Speedeet… yuh brother almost DEAD and yuh vex bout de helicopter?
Speedeet: (pause) Me can be worried AND jealous at de same time. Me contain multitudes.
Wilar: Yuh contain NONSENSE is wha yuh contain.
De Hospital Visit
Saturday Morning - Georgetown Public Hospital
Speedeet whole family pile into de hospital - mudda crying, fadda looking serious, grandmother praying, and Speedeet dragging Wilar along “fuh moral support.”
Speedeet Mudda: Derek! Me baby! Yuh alive!
Derek: (leg wrapped up like a mummy, looking tired) Yeah Ma, me alive. De anti-venom work. Doctor seh me lucky - if de helicopter did take five more minutes…
Speedeet Fadda: How yuh let snake bite yuh? Yuh nah see it?
Derek: Pa, is CARPET labaria. Dem does CAMOUFLAGE. It look like leaf on de ground! By de time me see it, it done bite me twice!
Wilar: (whispering to Speedeet) Twice?!
Speedeet: (whispering back) Derek always doing ting EXTRA. Even getting bite.
Grandmother: (holding Derek hand and praying loud) LORD JESUS THANK YOU FUH SAVING ME GRANDSON FROM DE SERPENT OF DE WILDERNESS…
Derek: (embarrassed) Grandma, people watching…
Grandmother: LET DEM WATCH! DE LORD WORK A MIRACLE TODAY!
The room was HOT. Twelve family members packed in a space meant fuh four. Aunty Phyllis start share out food she bring from home. Uncle Ravi telling a story bout de time HE almost get bite by snake in 1987. Cousin Nalini baby crying.
Speedeet: (tugging Wilar shirt) Bai… yuh want go fuh a walk?
Wilar: Walk WHERE? We in a hospital.
Speedeet: (grinning) Exactly.
De Discovery
Speedeet and Wilar slip out de room while Aunty Phyllis arguing with Uncle Ravi bout whether mongoose does really eat snake or if dat is “old people story.”
Wilar: Wheh we going?
Speedeet: Me nah know. Anywhere dat nah smell like Vicks and curry.
They walk through de hospital corridor, past de nurses station, down de stairs, and out into de back compound where de maintenance building deh.
Wilar: Dis place CREEPY. Why it got so much bush back here?
Speedeet: Hospital big, bai. Dem cyaan maintain everyting.
Then Speedeet see it.
A skinny ginger cat creeping through de grass, stalking a pigeon.
Speedeet: (grabbing Wilar arm) YUH SEE DAT?!
Wilar: De cat? Yeah, so?
Speedeet: So?! BAI! Look how much cat deh bout here!
Wilar look around. One cat by de fence. Two under de mango tree. Three near de garbage bin. A whole CONVENTION of feral cats living deh best life in de hospital compound.
Wilar: Wheh all dese cat come from?
Speedeet: Who care?! Yuh know wha dis mean?!
Wilar: (backing away) No. NO. Me know dat look. Dat is de MANGO TREE look. De SPELLING BEE look. Nutting good does come from dat look!
Speedeet: (pulling two homemade slingshots from he back pocket) HUNTING TIME, BAI!
Wilar: Yuh been walking round wid SLINGSHOT in yuh pocket?! At a HOSPITAL?!
Speedeet: Me does ALWAYS have dem! Fuh emergency! AND DIS IS AN EMERGENCY!
Wilar: How is cat in a hospital compound an emergency?!
Speedeet: (handing Wilar a slingshot) Bai. We in Georgetown. We bored. We got weapons. We got TARGETS. Dis is basically de universe telling we fuh have fun.
Wilar: (looking at de slingshot, then at de cats, then back at Speedeet) …we shooting fuh scare dem, right? Not fuh hurt dem?
Speedeet: Obviously! We nah MONSTERS, Wilar! We just… enthusiastic wildlife managers.
Wilar: (sighing, picking up a small pebble) Me grandmother guh KILL me.
Speedeet: She gotta CATCH we first! NOW LET WE HUNT!
De Great Cat Hunt of 2026
Target #1: Ginger Cat by De Mango Tree
Speedeet: (taking aim) Watch dis…
FWIP!
De pebble fly through de air and hit de tree trunk TWO FEET above de cat.
De cat ain’t even flinch. It just look at Speedeet like “Really, bai?”
Wilar: (laughing) Yuh AIM worst than yuh SPELLING!
Speedeet: De wind move it! Try YOU!
Wilar: (taking careful aim) Watch and learn…
FWIP!
De pebble hit de ground three feet SHORT of de cat.
Speedeet: WHO AIM WORST NOW?!
Wilar: De slingshot DEFECTIVE!
Cat: (yawning and walking away slowly, completely unbothered)
Target #2: Black Cat Near De Garbage
De boys creep closer, hiding behind a rusted wheelbarrow.
Speedeet: (whispering) Okay, dis time we got dis. On three. One… two…
Wilar: Wait, we shooting ON three or AFTER three?
Speedeet: ON three!
Wilar: Okay, go.
Speedeet: One… two… THREE!
FWIP! FWIP!
Both pebbles sail through de air. Speedeet one hit a tin can. CLANG! Wilar one bounce off de ground and somehow roll RIGHT to de cat foot.
De cat look down at de pebble. Look up at de boys. Pick up de pebble in it mouth. And WALK AWAY WID IT.
Speedeet: DID DAT CAT JUST TIEF WE AMMUNITION?!
Wilar: Bai, even de CAT disrespecting we!
Target #3: Three Cats Under De Tree (Ambitious)
Speedeet: New strategy. We spread out. Pincer movement. Like dem war movie.
Wilar: Yuh nah know wha pincer mean.
Speedeet: It mean we go from TWO SIDES! Me go left, you go right. We AMBUSH dem!
They split up, creeping through de bush like two very uncoordinated jungle soldiers.
Speedeet: (from de left, whispering loud) Yuh in position?!
Wilar: (from de right, also whispering loud) STOP TALKING SO LOUD!
Speedeet: YUH DE ONE TALKING LOUD!
Random Hospital Worker: (appearing from nowhere) OY! WHA YOU BOYS DOING BACK HERE?!
Speedeet & Wilar: NOTHING SIR! JUST LOOKING FUH WE GRANDMOTHER!
Hospital Worker: Yuh grandmother in de BUSH?!
Speedeet: She does WANDER, sir! Dementia! Very sad!
Wilar: (playing along) GRANDMA?! GRANDMA WHERE YOU?!
Hospital Worker: (suspicious but confused) Alright… well… hurry up and find she. Dis area off limits.
He walk away, shaking he head.
Wilar: Yuh just tell dat man yuh grandmother got dementia!
Speedeet: Quick thinking, bai! Now wheh dem cat go?
All three cats had vanished during de commotion.
Wilar: GREAT. We lose we targets AND almost get catch.
Speedeet: De hunt nah OVER! We just… relocating!
Target #4: De BIG One
Near de back fence, sitting on a pile of old mattresses like a KING on a throne, was de biggest, fattest, meanest-looking tabby cat either boy had ever seen.
Wilar: (gulping) Speedeet… dat cat bigger than yuh HEAD.
Speedeet: (eyes wide) Dat nah cat. Dat is a TIGER.
Wilar: We should leave it alone.
Speedeet: (loading slingshot) We should… but we NAH GO.
Wilar: Speedeet…
Speedeet: Dis is de BOSS LEVEL, Wilar! We cyaan walk away! Wha we guh tell we children?! “We had de shot and we nah take it”?!
Wilar: WE TWELVE! WE NAH GOT CHILDREN!
Speedeet: FUTURE CHILDREN, BAI! NOW COVER ME!
Speedeet stand up from behind de bush, take aim at de massive tabby, and let loose.
FWIP!
De pebble arc through de air… AND HIT DE CAT RIGHT ON IT BELLY.
De cat open one eye.
Look at Speedeet.
And START RUNNING TOWARD HIM.
Speedeet: OH GOSH OH GOSH OH GOSH!
Wilar: RUN BAI RUN!!!
Both boys take off SPRINTING through de hospital compound, de fat tabby cat actually CHASING dem like something out of a horror movie.
Speedeet: WHY IT CHASING WE?!
Wilar: BECAUSE YUH SHOOT IT!!!
Speedeet: IT WAS SUPPOSED TO RUN DE OTHER WAY!!!
Wilar: TELL DE CAT DAT!!!
They run past de maintenance building, past de garbage area, past a very confused nurse on she smoke break, through a door marked “STAFF ONLY,” down a corridor, and FINALLY lose de cat when they duck into a supply closet.
Wilar: (panting) Me… heart… guh… EXPLODE…
Speedeet: (also dying) Dat… was… AMAZING!!!
Wilar: AMAZING?! WE ALMOST GET KILL BY A CAT!!!
Speedeet: Bai, dat is a STORY! “De Time We Get Chase By De Georgetown Hospital Attack Cat!” We guh tell dis FOREVER!
Wilar: (starting to laugh despite himself) Yuh see how FAT it was but it still RUN so fast?!
Speedeet: Like a FURRY BULLET, bai!
They sit in de supply closet, laughing until dey belly hurt, surrounded by toilet paper and cleaning supplies.
De Return
Twenty minutes later, Speedeet and Wilar slip back into Derek hospital room like nothing happen. Dey clothes had grass stain, dey was sweating, and Wilar had a scratch on he arm from when he dive through a bush.
Speedeet Mudda: (not even looking up from she phone) Wheh you two was?
Speedeet: Bathroom.
Wilar: Long line.
Speedeet Mudda: Mhm.
Derek: (looking at dem suspicious) Why yuh got GRASS in yuh hair?
Speedeet: (quickly brushing he head) Georgetown breeze, bai. Very strong.
Derek: (narrowing he eyes) Speedeet…
Speedeet: ANYWAY, how yuh feeling?! Yuh want some food?! Aunty Phyllis bring PHOLOURIE!
Derek: (not buying it but too tired to pursue) Me know yuh was doing something stupid. Me KNOW it.
Speedeet: Me? Stupid? Derek, me is a HONOR ROLL STUDENT.
Wilar: (coughing) Yuh get C in every subject.
Speedeet: C AVERAGE IS STILL PASSING!
Derek: (to Wilar) Watch he fuh me, bai. He does attract trouble like magnet.
Wilar: Me TRY. He nah easy.
Speedeet: (grinning) Life boring widout a lil adventure! Right, Wilar?
Wilar: (rubbing de scratch on he arm) …right.
De Truth
Derek spend two more weeks in hospital before dem discharge him. De carpet labaria bite leave a permanent scar on he leg and a story he guh tell at every family gathering fuh de rest of he life.
Speedeet and Wilar never tell nobody bout de cat hunt. But every time dey see a tabby cat after dat, dey does walk a lil faster.
De fat tabby? Still ruling de Georgetown Hospital compound like a king. Some seh it got BIGGER.
Speedeet swear he guh go back one day fuh a rematch.
Wilar already planning he excuse fuh why he cyaan go.
Next Week: “Speedeet & Wilar: De Cricket Match Challenge”
Speedeet & Wilar are two 12-year-old best friends from Pike Street, Kitty. Dem adventures deh fuh entertain and reflect de innocent mischief of childhood in Guyana. No animals were harmed - just terrified.