Your 5-minute Guyanese news circus — now with 100% more political drama ☕🇬🇾
🗳️ OPPOSITION LEADER: FINALLY! MAYBE! MONDAY!
What Happened: Speaker Manzoor Nadir announced he will “reluctantly” convene a meeting of opposition MPs on Monday, January 26, at 10 AM to elect the Leader of the Opposition.
The Key Word: “Reluctantly.”
Translation: “Fine! FINE! I’ll do it! Stop calling me!”
The Math:
- General elections: October 2025
- Months without Opposition Leader: 3+
- Speaker’s level of enthusiasm: “Reluctant”
Who’s Likely to Win: Azruddin Mohamed of WIN, which holds 16 of 29 opposition seats. Yes, the same Azruddin Mohamed who is under US sanctions. Democracy is fun!
The Diplomatic Nudge: US, UK, Canada, and EU ambassadors all publicly urged Guyana to get this sorted. When four major diplomatic missions are posting on social media about your Parliament, you know things have gotten awkward.
Dem Boys Seh: “Three months to pick one person. At this rate, by de time Opposition Leader sit down, election gon call again.”
🚔 POLICE ACADEMY: NOT THE COMEDY VERSION
What Happened: The Ministry of Home Affairs launched a probe into “serious allegations of sexual exploitation, abuse of authority, and misconduct” at the Guyana Police Force Academy.
The Ministry’s Statement: “Any individual—regardless of rank, position, or tenure—found to have engaged in wrongdoing will be charged and held fully accountable under the law.”
Translation: Someone’s about to have a very bad week.
What We Know:
- CID and Office of Professional Responsibility investigating
- Zero tolerance policy invoked
- Details still emerging
What We Don’t Know:
- Specific allegations
- How many personnel involved
- How long this has been happening
The Uncomfortable Question: If this is happening at the training academy, what does that say about the culture recruits are being trained into?
Dem Boys Seh: “Dem training officers alright. Just not in wha dem supposed to train.”
🗑️ GEORGETOWN: EMERGENCY DECLARED, MAYOR GOES MISSING
What Happened: City Hall declared a “limited state of solid waste emergency” on Monday. But when Minister Manickchand called a meeting to actually fix the problem, Mayor Mentore and APNU councillors… didn’t show up.
The Timeline:
- Sunday: Minister Manickchand tells City Hall to present cleanup plan by 11 AM Monday
- Monday Morning: Mayor agrees to attend meeting
- Monday 11 AM: Mayor withdraws. No APNU councillors show up. Some who did show up got mysterious phone calls and “hurriedly left the compound”
Minister Manickchand’s Assessment: Georgetown residents are being “held hostage to poor politics.”
The Solution (So Far): Minister met directly with garbage collectors, who revealed the REAL problem — they haven’t been paid in MONTHS, despite City Hall having the funds.
Current State of Georgetown:
- ☐ Clean
- ☐ Habitable
- ☑️ Emergency declared
- ☑️ Political football
Dem Boys Seh: “Mayor declare emergency then disappear. Dat is like calling fire brigade and hiding de hydrant.”
⚔️ APNU vs WIN: OPPOSITION CAN’T EVEN OPPOSE TOGETHER
What Happened: A “bitter row” erupted between APNU and WIN over their failure to meet during the past two months. APNU’s Ganesh Mahipaul blamed WIN for not following up with a date, time, and venue.
The Irony: The opposition parties can’t even organize a meeting with EACH OTHER, but they want to run the country.
APNU’s Position: “WIN didn’t call us back!”
WIN’s Likely Position: [We’ll get back to you on that]
The Real Losers: Guyanese citizens who deserve a functional opposition to hold the government accountable.
Dem Boys Seh: “Opposition fighting opposition while government watching and laughing. Is like watching two people argue bout who gon lose.”
⚖️ TSC APPOINTMENT: CONSTITUTIONAL CRISIS OR NAH?
What Happened: APNU parliamentary leader Dr. Terrence Campbell is challenging the constitutionality of President Ali’s appointment of the Teaching Service Commission members — arguing it couldn’t be done without an Opposition Leader in place.
The Argument: Three TSC members should have been appointed with Opposition Leader input. No Opposition Leader = No valid appointment.
Government’s Likely Response: “Not our fault there’s no Opposition Leader. Take it up with the Speaker.”
The Circular Logic:
- Can’t appoint TSC properly without Opposition Leader
- Opposition can’t agree on Opposition Leader
- Government proceeds with TSC anyway
- Opposition cries foul
- Everyone blames everyone else
- Teachers still waiting for promotions
Dem Boys Seh: “Constitution seh one thing. Politics seh another. Teachers seh ‘we just want get paid properly.’”
💰 ARMED ROBBERY: $600K GONE IN SECONDS
What Happened: A 34-year-old restaurant manager on Smyth Street, Georgetown was robbed at gunpoint of more than $600,000 just outside her workplace around 9:58 PM. She had just collected the day’s earnings.
The Pattern: This is exactly the kind of crime that makes business owners nervous — targeted, timed, and brutal.
The Question: How did the robbers know she’d be carrying cash at that exact moment?
Police Status: Investigating.
Dem Boys Seh: “Bandits know when you getting pay before you does.”
📱 CHARRANDASS RETURNS: TIKTOK EDITION
What Happened: Former AFC parliamentarian Charrandass Persaud — yes, THAT Charrandass whose single vote toppled the APNU+AFC government in 2018 — released a viral TikTok accusing President Ali of abandoning democratic principles and ruling with an “iron fist.”
The Quote: Called it “a dictatorship in the making.”
The Irony: The man who single-handedly changed Guyana’s political trajectory is now commenting on politics via TikTok. What a time to be alive.
Government’s Likely Response: [Read but not responded to]
Dem Boys Seh: “Charrandass know bout bringing down government. Now he trying from TikTok.”
🏫 HOSORORO SECONDARY: ONE THAT ACTUALLY OPENED
Good News: The newly constructed Hosororo Secondary School in Region One opened its doors, ready to accommodate close to 500 students from Mabaruma. It has its own power generation system and modern facilities.
Why This Matters: Hinterland students now have access to secondary education closer to home.
The Contrast: While some schools (Tabatinga, Nappi) are still “far from operational readiness,” this one actually opened on schedule.
Credit Where Due: A school was announced, built, and opened. It happens sometimes.
🏏 SPORTS CORNER
West Indies preparing for T20 World Cup with a three-match series against Afghanistan in Dubai. World Cup starts February 7 in India and Sri Lanka.
Guyana Women’s Cricket: Defending champions continue strong in CWI Women’s Blaze T20 Championships.
☀️ WEATHER
Georgetown: Partly cloudy with scattered showers of political drama. High of 31°C. 100% chance of garbage still on the streets.
🎯 FINAL SCORE
| Topic | Status | Outlook |
|---|---|---|
| Opposition Leader | Meeting Monday | Finally! |
| Police Academy | Under investigation | Disturbing |
| Georgetown garbage | Emergency declared | Still stinking |
| APNU vs WIN | Fighting each other | Messy |
| TSC appointment | Being challenged | Legal drama |
That’s your Tuesday. The Opposition Leader is coming (maybe), the Police Academy has a scandal, Georgetown is still a mess, and the opposition can’t even agree to meet each other. Just another day in the Co-operative Republic.
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Disclaimer: The Guyana Brief is satirical commentary on news reported in Guyana’s four major newspapers. We critique policies and situations, not individuals. Any resemblance to actual competence is purely coincidental.