Your 5-minute satirical summary of Guyana’s Monday papers. We read the news so you can laugh at it! 🇬🇾
🎯 THE BIG STORY: Super Monday - Budget AND Opposition Leader Election
Today is like Christmas and Tax Day had a baby in Parliament.
At 10:00 AM, opposition MPs will gather to elect Azruddin Mohamed as Leader of the Opposition — the same man Speaker Nadir has been calling an “international fugitive” for weeks. Then later, Finance Minister Dr. Ashni Singh drops Budget 2026 with that promised $100,000 cash grant for every adult.
It’s the political equivalent of getting slapped and then handed money. Guyana, what a country.
🗳️ OPPOSITION LEADER: The “Fugitive” Wins (Probably)
After weeks of international pressure from the US, UK, and Canada, Speaker Nadir finally scheduled the election — while making sure EVERYONE knows how he feels about it.
| What Speaker Said | Translation |
|---|---|
| “International fugitive” | Not a fan |
| “Stain on our Parliament” | Really not a fan |
| “Pablo Escobar reference” | Okay, we get it |
| “Will not pander to threats” | But here’s your election anyway |
Dr. Leslie Ramsammy drew comparisons to Singapore, where they just STRIPPED an opposition leader of his title for lying under oath. “Singapore acted to protect the integrity of its parliament. In Guyana, we are about to do the opposite.”
Meanwhile, Azruddin says he’s “ready to represent Guyanese.” His extradition hearing resumes February 5th. Scheduling, am I right?
💰 BUDGET 2026: The Main Event
Finance Minister Singh and his team worked “late into Sunday night” finalizing the budget. What we know:
| Promise | Status |
|---|---|
| $100,000 cash grant (18+) | ✅ Confirmed |
| Net property tax abolished | ✅ Promised |
| Income tax threshold increase | ✅ Over 5 years |
| Zero-interest SME loans up to $3M | ✅ In manifesto |
| Gas-to-Energy completion | ⏳ Late 2026 |
Dr. Singh’s message: “Policy, consistency, clarity and continuity.”
Translation: More of the same, but bigger.
The 2025 budget was $1.382 trillion. Place your bets on 2026.
🏨 HOTELS: Four Points by Sheraton Almost Ready
President Ali took a “guided tour” of the Four Points by Sheraton at Caneview Avenue on Saturday night. Because nothing says “I’m the President” like getting private tours of hotels that aren’t open yet.
The hotel “will be opened shortly” and will “further strengthen our accommodation capacity.” At this rate, Guyana will have more hotel rooms than residents who can afford them.
🏟️ BERBICE: Palmyra Stadium Nearing Completion
The Palmyra Multipurpose Stadium is almost ready, and Berbicians are excited.
Former West Indies player Devendra Bishoo: “This is a game-changer for young people. Such infrastructure was unimaginable during my early playing years.”
The stadium promises to transform Berbice into “a hub for sport, culture, and economic activity.” Finally, somewhere for all those cricket arguments to happen in person.
🏫 TABATINGA SCHOOL: Opposition Says Not Ready
APNU MP Sherod Duncan visited the Tabatinga Secondary School construction site and declared it “far from operational readiness.”
The government has promised the school will open. The opposition says it won’t. Someone’s going to be wrong, and it’ll be entertaining either way.
🩺 HEALTH: Chinese Medical Team Opens Specialized Clinic
A Chinese medical team has opened a specialized clinic for metabolic diseases at Georgetown Public Hospital.
International cooperation in action! Or as the conspiracy theorists will say, “Chinese infiltration.” Take your pick.
📊 WEEK AHEAD
| Day | What’s Happening |
|---|---|
| Monday AM | Opposition Leader election |
| Monday PM | Budget 2026 presentation |
| February 5 | Azruddin’s extradition hearing resumes |
| Ongoing | Four Points Sheraton opening “shortly” |
💭 THOUGHT FOR THE DAY
The opposition is about to elect a man facing US extradition charges as their leader, while the government hands every adult $100,000.
Guyana 2026: Where the political drama writes itself and the money keeps flowing.
Critical analysis from all four major papers. For the pro-government perspective, see Uncle Ramesh’s response.
Sources: Guyana Chronicle, Stabroek News, Kaieteur News, Guyana Times