Your 5-minute satirical summary of Guyana’s Friday papers. We read the news so you can laugh at it! 🇬🇾
🎯 THE BIG STORY: GRA Officers Fired Over Mohamed Vehicle Transfers
Well, well, well. The Guyana Revenue Authority (GRA) has terminated several employees and is preparing to charge them under the Anti-Money Laundering Act for allegedly helping sanctioned businessman Azruddin Mohamed transfer vehicles.
Yes, THAT Azruddin Mohamed. The newly minted Opposition Leader. The one the US Treasury says is involved in gold smuggling and money laundering. That one.
The Daily Brief’s translation: GRA officers saw a man wanted by the United States government and said “Sure, we’ll help you move your cars around. What could possibly go wrong?”
What went wrong: Everything.
Now they’re fired AND facing criminal charges. Perhaps they should have Googled “Azruddin Mohamed” before processing those transfers.
🏭 RUSAL IS BACK: Russians Return to Bauxite Mining
In news that sounds like a headline from 2019, RUSAL (Russian Aluminium) is returning to Guyana six years after they shut down operations during a labor dispute.
Finance Minister Dr. Ashni Singh announced that the government reached an agreement “a few days ago” for RUSAL to resume bauxite mining in the upper Berbice area.
The Brief asks: What changed? Did they finally agree to pay workers a living wage, or did the government just really miss the Russians?
Fun fact: RUSAL left in 2019 after a bitter dispute with workers. Now they’re coming back. Either someone learned their lesson, or everyone conveniently forgot what the fight was about.
💰 CHRISTOPHER RAM: Government Needs Fiscal Ozempic
Chartered accountant Christopher Ram is warning the government about excessive spending, particularly with oil prices expected to drop to $50 per barrel.
His prescription? The government needs “the fiscal equivalent of Ozempic – a firm and sustained dose of appetite control to curb the compulsion to spend simply because there is no obvious restraint.”
Translation: Stop eating the oil money like it’s an all-you-can-eat buffet.
Ram argues that “years of aggressive fiscal stimulation” have “dulled discipline and restraint.” He’s basically saying the government is on spending steroids and needs to detox.
The government’s likely response: “We’re not addicted to spending. We can stop whenever we want. Right after this next mega-project.”
🏠 HOUSING NUMBERS: 15,000 Lots, 8,000 Homes Planned
The government has announced plans for 15,000 new house lots and 8,000 homes in 2026 as part of its continuing housing program.
Finance Minister Singh told the National Assembly that investments in housing are “not just about providing shelter, but about creating safe, thriving communities where citizens can live with dignity, stability, and pride.”
The Brief observes: That’s a beautiful sentiment. Now let’s talk about drainage, roads, and whether these communities will have water and electricity before families move in.
Credit where due: Housing remains one area where the government is actually building things people can see and touch. Unlike some other promises we could mention.
📉 OIL PRICE CONCERNS
With the situation in Venezuela continuing to evolve (Trump did WHAT to Maduro?), oil analysts are warning that prices could drop significantly. This affects Guyana’s revenue projections for Budget 2026.
The good news: More FPSOs coming online will increase production volume. The bad news: If you’re selling more oil at lower prices, the math gets complicated.
Bottom line: Maybe that $100,000 cash grant should come with a disclaimer: “Subject to oil market conditions.”
🏏 SPORTS CORNER
Guyana women’s cricket team continues to perform well in the CWI Blaze T20 Championships. Captain Shemaine Campbelle scored an unbeaten 50 against Jamaica.
West Indies will face Afghanistan in a T20I series in Dubai as both teams tune up for the T20 World Cup starting February 7.
Meanwhile, the 2026 cycling season kicked off at National Park despite heavy rain, because Guyanese cyclists don’t let a little weather stop them.
📰 QUICK HITS
- Georgetown Chamber of Commerce commends Budget 2026’s “people-centric” approach
- Region Two Mashramani kicks off with young voices leading the celebrations
- Stanleytown bridge delays continue causing traffic chaos on the West Bank
- China-Guyana health partnership to expand with new therapies and obesity programs in 2026
- Roraima Airways announces 7% reduction in airfares to rehabilitated hinterland airstrips
🎭 DEM BOYS SEH
From Kaieteur News: When the furniture warehouse started blazing, “nuff people nearly drop dem phone.” The owners took a serious hit, but “dem boys seh is only luck” that prevented worse.
Translation: Fire destroyed a furniture store. Everyone was too busy filming to help.
📊 TODAY’S NUMBERS
| Metric | Number |
|---|---|
| GRA employees fired | Several |
| New house lots planned | 15,000 |
| New homes planned | 8,000 |
| Years since RUSAL left | 6 |
| Projected oil price drop | $50/barrel |
| Cash grant per adult | $100,000 |
THE BOTTOM LINE
It’s Friday, Guyana. The government is spending big, RUSAL is coming back, and GRA officers are learning that helping sanctioned people has consequences.
Christopher Ram wants fiscal discipline. The opposition wants budget consultations. The government wants you to focus on the house lots, not the questions.
Meanwhile, somewhere in Queens, Uncle Ramesh is preparing his response about why everything is actually fine.
Have a great weekend! 🇬🇾
The Daily Brief: We read the news so you can laugh at it.
Read all four papers yourself: Guyana Chronicle | Stabroek News | Kaieteur News | Guyana Times
DISCLAIMER: The Daily Brief is satirical commentary on real news events. All opinions are our own. For the pro-government perspective, see Uncle Ramesh’s response.