Your daily satirical summary of Guyana’s four major newspapers. We read the Chronicle, Stabroek, Kaieteur, and Times so you can start your Monday with laughs instead of headaches.
🏛️ BUDGET 2026 DEBATE: GRAB YOUR POPCORN
The National Assembly opens debate on the $1.558 TRILLION Budget 2026 today, and if you thought the presentation was dramatic, wait until the opposition gets the microphone.
Quick refresher on what’s in this monster budget:
| Budget Item | Amount | Translation |
|---|---|---|
| Education | $183.6 billion | More schools than students at this rate |
| Healthcare | $161.1 billion | Six new hospitals commissioned last year alone |
| Housing | $159.1 billion | 40,000 new homes promised — where, exactly? |
| Agriculture | $113.2 billion | Because somebody has to grow the rice |
| Security | $100.3 billion | Cameras. Cameras everywhere. |
| Water | $21.6 billion | Clean water — revolutionary concept |
Finance Minister Ashni Singh says this budget represents a 307% increase over the $383 billion budget in 2021. Meanwhile, PM Phillips calls it an “irreversible shift” for Guyana.
McCoy is already warning about an opposition “misinformation machinery” ahead of debate. Translation: “They’re going to say things we don’t like, and we’d like you to ignore them in advance.”
The opposition, meanwhile, is sharpening their pencils. Expect words like “reckless,” “unsustainable,” and “where’s the money going?” to feature prominently.
⚖️ MOHAMEDS EXTRADITION: THE RULING WE’VE ALL BEEN WAITING FOR
Today is the day. Acting Chief Justice Navindra Singh is expected to deliver his ruling on the constitutional challenge and judicial review filed by gold traders Azruddin Mohamed and his father Nazar Mohamed.
Here’s the situation in a nutshell:
The Mohameds say: The extradition process was tainted by bias. The Home Affairs Minister’s decision to issue the authority to proceed was unlawful. Also, sections of the Fugitive Offenders Act are unconstitutional.
The Attorney General says: Everything was done by the book. No procedural violation. No unlawful conduct. Next question.
Remember, Azruddin Mohamed is also the duly elected Leader of the Opposition — a fact the Chronicle keeps putting in scare quotes and Stabroek keeps mentioning alongside his US indictment. The government has been accused of delaying National Assembly sittings hoping an extradition order gets issued first.
The prosecution even tried to move the extradition hearing to an EARLIER date after initially agreeing to February 5-6, which the defence said was impossible. Make of that what you will.
🏨 PLAZA COURT HOTEL: GEORGETOWN GOES UPSCALE
The Plaza Court Hotel opened on Main Street, Georgetown, over the weekend — a sleek 60-room facility built by Dharwan Construction Group. President Ali himself showed up for the opening.
This is part of Georgetown’s slow but steady transformation from “city with potholes that have their own postal codes” to “actual tourism destination.” The government has earmarked $2.2 billion to complete the Hospitality and Tourism Institute, which will train over 700 people for the expanding tourism sector.
Fun fact: Guyana recorded a record 453,489 visitors in 2025. At this rate, we’ll need hotels faster than we can build them.
🎭 MASHRAMANI 2026: $120 MILLION AND COUNTING
The government is investing over $120 million in Mashramani 2026 — the largest investment ever in the annual Republic Day celebration. The theme? “Expressing our culture through innovation and creativity.”
Minister Ramson launched the festivities at the Railway Courtyard on Friday, and the Ministry of Education already unveiled its Mash band.
This year marks Guyana’s 60th Independence anniversary, so expect the celebration to be bigger, louder, and more colourful than usual. Whether the costumes will be more creative than last year’s “we ran out of fabric at the last minute” aesthetic remains to be seen.
🏡 HYDE PARK HOMESTEAD: WOMEN APPLAUD NEW HOUSING
Women and single mothers are praising the Hyde Park Homestead Project, with beneficiaries highlighting the accessible process, affordable homes, and family-friendly designs.
Meanwhile, the government is also building new truck parks to ease congestion and improve communities. Because nothing says “community improvement” like giving the big rigs their own parking lot instead of blocking your street.
🐄 CATTLE RUSTLERS BLAMED FOR CONSERVATIONIST’S DEATH
In deeply sad news, Leon Baird, a well-known Rupununi conservationist, was killed — and cattle rustlers are being blamed. This story highlights the ongoing challenges in Guyana’s hinterland, where wildlife conservation and cattle ranching often collide in tragic ways.
🇬🇧 UK-GUYANA: CLIMATE BUDDIES FOREVER
Guyana and the UK have strengthened their climate and biodiversity partnership, with UK Deputy PM David Lammy calling the UK “proud” to be a new signatory to the Global Biodiversity Alliance.
President Ali’s recent UK visit positioned Guyana as more than just an “environmental bystander.” The Chronicle ran this with approximately seventeen photographs of the handshake.
📊 MONDAY SCORECARD
| Category | Status | Mood |
|---|---|---|
| Budget Debate | Opens today | 🍿 |
| Mohameds Ruling | Expected today | ⚖️ |
| New Hotel | Open for business | 🏨 |
| Mashramani | $120M invested | 🎭 |
| Housing | Women applauding | 🏡 |
| Conservationist | Killed by rustlers | 😢 |
| UK Partnership | Handshakes for days | 🤝 |
📰 QUICK HITS FROM THE PAPERS
Chronicle: President Ali urges diaspora to return home, saying “the government will co-invest with you.” Also running letters praising Budget 2026 as “exceptional.”
Stabroek: Opposition parties APNU and WIN express concern over the state of Tabatinga Secondary School construction — MP Sherod Duncan says it’s “far from operational readiness.” Also, Guyana Bar Association President warns that weak disciplinary enforcement undermines justice delivery.
Kaieteur: Still hammering on the Stabroek Block ring-fencing issue and pointing out the government “settled for a small bone.” Also covering the Canadian High Commissioner’s reminder that “Parliament is the cornerstone of democracy.” Shots fired. Diplomatically.
Guyana Times: Running education content about children with disabilities getting new facilities and the launch of an anti-bullying app by the Ministry of Education.
💭 THOUGHT OF THE DAY
Budget debate opening on the same day as the Mohameds ruling is either coincidence or the most perfectly Guyanese scheduling in history. One way or another, somebody’s going to be yelling in Parliament today.
Happy Monday, Guyana. 🇬🇾
The Daily Brief: Reading all four newspapers so you can enjoy your morning tea in peace.
Sources: Guyana Chronicle, Stabroek News, Kaieteur News, Guyana Times, News Room Guyana, INews Guyana
© 2026 The Guyana Daily Brief. All satire, all the time.