Your satirical Caribbean roundup. Because drama doesn’t stop at Guyana’s borders.
🇧🇧 MOTTLEY’S THREE-PEAT: 30 FOR 30 FOR 30
Mia Mottley has been sworn in for her THIRD consecutive term as Barbados Prime Minister, and the BLP once again swept ALL 30 seats. The opposition scored zero. Again. For the third time.
She’s now only the second Caribbean leader to achieve a clean sweep three times, following Grenada’s Dr. Keith Mitchell.
| Election | BLP Seats | Opposition Seats |
|---|---|---|
| 2018 | 30 | 0 |
| 2022 | 30 | 0 |
| 2026 | 30 | 0 |
Commonwealth observers were deployed. They observed. They confirmed that democracy happened. Whether opposition happened is another question entirely.
Caribbean Brief asks: At what point does “dominant party” become “only party”? Asking for several Caribbean democracies.
🌎 CARIBBEAN CENTRE STAGE AT CAF FORUM IN PANAMA
The CAF International Economic Forum put Caribbean priorities front and centre this year. Climate resilience, infrastructure, energy transition, water security, food security — everything small island states have been screaming about for decades finally got a dedicated spotlight.
The big news: CAF pledged USD $1 BILLION for Jamaica’s recovery from Hurricane Melissa, alongside other international development partners. A dedicated investment dialogue brought together Jamaican ministers, institutional investors, and construction firms to explore PPP models.
More than 6,500 participants from 70 countries attended. Caribbean ministers and business leaders were prominent.
Caribbean Brief says: A billion dollars for Jamaica is significant. But will it arrive faster than Caribbean construction timelines? History says… maybe by 2030.
🛂 US TIGHTENING VISA SCREWS ON CARIBBEAN NATIONALS
The US government is cracking down on birth tourism, and Caribbean nationals are caught in the net. Barbados, Trinidad, Jamaica, Antigua, Dominica, and Grenada all face stricter visa scrutiny in 2026.
What’s new:
- Enhanced interviews
- Deeper examination of travel intent
- Pregnancy-related questions now standard
- Financial documentation requirements increased
- Antigua faces partial travel restrictions linked to its citizenship-by-investment programme
Caribbean Brief says: America tells Caribbean people “come visit!” and then asks pregnant women to prove they won’t have a baby while visiting. The irony of a country built by immigrants making immigration harder — well, we’ll leave that one alone.
🏏 T20 WORLD CUP: ITALY BEATS NEPAL, INDIA ROLLS
The T20 World Cup continues in India and Sri Lanka, and the surprise result so far? Italy beat Nepal courtesy of brothers Justin and Anthony Mosca, both hitting unbeaten half-centuries in a dominant 10-wicket win.
India steamrolled Namibia. Afghanistan and West Indies are tuning up with a three-match series in Dubai.
West Indies need a strong showing — Caribbean cricket pride is at stake, and the squad needs momentum heading into the group stages.
🛢️ TRINIDAD’S ENERGY BILLIONS
Trinidad & Tobago’s PM is set to address Caribbean Energy Week 2026 amid a multi-billion-dollar energy investment surge. T&T remains the Caribbean’s energy powerhouse, and the conference will showcase new investment commitments.
Meanwhile, Guyana continues pumping at 892,000 barrels per day from the Stabroek Block. Shell’s CEO publicly admitted leaving Guyana was a “missed opportunity.”
Caribbean Brief says: Shell regretting leaving Guyana is the corporate equivalent of texting your ex at 2am. “I made a mistake. Can we talk?”
🏝️ TOURISM SCORECARD
Caribbean tourism is a mixed bag in 2026:
| Trend | Status |
|---|---|
| US tourist arrivals to Caribbean | Down 7%+ |
| Luxury tourism (Cayman, Barbados) | Growing |
| Cruise tourism | Surging |
| Dominican Republic | Stable (0.2% dip) |
| Haiti tourist arrivals | Down 36% (worst in region) |
| Jamaica | Down 10.9% but recovering |
| Trinidad & Tobago | Down 5.5% |
The DR opened a “tourism war” with Mexico — competing for the beach-and-resort market with aggressive pricing and marketing. The safest Caribbean islands for honeymooners list is out, and several nations are repositioning for the luxury market.
Caribbean Brief says: We’re losing American tourists to rising costs and competition. Solution? Same as always — better marketing, cheaper flights, and praying TikTok influencers discover us before Bali takes everybody.
🗞️ QUICK CARIBBEAN HITS
- Taiwan donates US$3 million to St. Vincent for social relief
- Jamaica’s agriculture sector gets major transformation launch in St. Elizabeth
- Haiti TPS ruling in US courts reflects deepening crisis
- Dominican Republic pushing beach beats and diplomacy in tourism war with Mexico
- Caribbean weather forecast: Drier than usual for next 3 months — drought warnings for Windward Islands and Grand Cayman
That’s your Caribbean Brief. The region is spending billions, launching rockets, sweeping elections, and fighting over tourists — all while the sea levels keep rising. Happy Friday the 13th, Caribbean. 🌴
DISCLAIMER: The Caribbean Brief is satirical commentary on regional news. We love every island equally. Especially the ones with good roti.