Your satirical morning roundup from all four papers. Reading the news so you can laugh, cry, and argue at the same time.
💔 BREAKING: STABROEK NEWS IS CLOSING
Source: Stabroek News
This is the biggest media story in Guyana in decades. Stabroek News — the country’s most respected independent newspaper — will cease printing on March 15, 2026. After 39 years.
Chairman Brendan de Caires told employees that GPI (Guyana Publications Inc.) will begin voluntary liquidation. The reason? The same thing killing newspapers worldwide — Facebook, YouTube, Instagram, and TikTok ate the advertising revenue.
| The Numbers | |
|---|---|
| Global print ad revenue 2004 | US$110 billion |
| Global print ad revenue 2024 | US$26 billion |
| US newspapers closed | 2,000+ |
| Canadian newspapers closed | 340+ |
| UK newspapers closed | 300+ |
| Guyana newspapers about to close | 1 (and it’s the big one) |
Founded in 1986 by David and Doreen de Caires, Stabroek News was the paper that asked the questions nobody else would. The paper that held every government — PPP and PNC alike — accountable. The paper that Guyanese trusted when they didn’t trust anything else.
De Brief is genuinely sad about this one. Whatever your politics, losing an independent voice is a loss for democracy. Thirty-nine years of journalism, ending not with a scandal but with an algorithm.
One reader in the letters section asked if Exxon could help solve flooding and blackouts. They might want to add “saving newspapers” to that list.
🌊 GEORGETOWN SWAMPED — AGAIN
Source: All Four Papers
Four inches of rain in four hours. Georgetown went from capital city to canal city.
| Area | Status |
|---|---|
| Lodge | Flooded |
| Queenstown | Flooded |
| Sophia | Flooded |
| South Ruimveldt | 96.7mm recorded — worst hit |
| Sussex Street | CDC responding |
| Independence Blvd | Minister on site |
| Campbellville | Underwater |
| Ogle | Flooded |
The Chronicle says: “Drainage systems stand firm amid intense rainfall.” Three ministers were deployed to the field. Pumps activated. Sluices opened. Infrastructure is WORKING.
Stabroek says: “City flooded again from heavy rain.” A dentist on Charlotte Street had to close their office. Businesses losing revenue. Same problems, different rainy season.
Kaieteur says: “Georgetown Swamped.” Full stop.
The scoring:
| Paper | Headline Approach |
|---|---|
| Chronicle | “Systems stand firm” (glass 90% full) |
| Stabroek | “City flooded AGAIN” (emphasis on again) |
| Kaieteur | “Georgetown Swamped” (two words, maximum damage) |
De Brief asks: We have a $1.558 TRILLION budget and the capital city still floods from four hours of rain? Maybe somebody should check if the pumps are activated BEFORE the ministers show up for photos.
🎬 MOHAMED CAMBIO SAGA: THE SEQUEL NOBODY ASKED FOR
Source: Chronicle, Kaieteur, Demerara Waves
The SOCU raid on Mohamed’s Lombard Street enterprise just got more interesting. Police released a SECOND video showing what they say is illegal cambio operations happening MINUTES before the raid. This after Mohamed publicly denied the cambio was operational.
The Chronicle editorial (“The Evidence Speaks”) went in hard: US indictment from 2017-2024. OFAC sanctions. Revoked cambio licence. Surveillance footage. And Mohamed’s defence? “It’s because of my speech in Parliament.”
Kaieteur’s Peeping Tom added: “Of course he bankrolled the PPP. It is no secret.”
| Mohamed’s Position | The Evidence |
|---|---|
| “Political persecution” | US indictment predates his political career |
| “Cambio is closed” | Video shows currency exchange happening |
| “It’s because of my speech” | SOCU says investigation ongoing for months |
De Brief notes: When your best defence is “I used to give you money too,” you might want a better lawyer.
🇧🇧 MOTTLEY MAKES HISTORY — AGAIN
Source: Kaieteur News, Demerara Waves
Mia Mottley has been sworn in for her THIRD consecutive term as Prime Minister of Barbados. She is now only the second Caribbean politician to win ALL seats in a national parliament THREE times.
The BLP swept every single seat. The opposition? Zero. Again.
De Brief says: At some point, Barbados might want to check if they accidentally became a one-party state. Asking for a friend.
👮 OIL BOOM DRAINING POLICE RANKS
Source: Kaieteur News
Here’s an irony nobody predicted: Guyana’s oil wealth is actually HURTING the police force. Officers are leaving to take better-paying jobs in the oil sector. Can’t blame them — would you chase criminals for government wages when ExxonMobil is offering double?
President Ali ordered a full digital overhaul of the police force at the Annual Officers’ Conference, including e-ticketing integration with the demerit system, biometric systems, and a joint strike force with Brazil.
De Brief asks: You can digitise the police all you want, but if nobody wants to BE a police officer anymore, you’re just automating empty uniforms.
📱 MINISTER PARAG’S DATA DUMP CONTROVERSY
Source: Stabroek News (Letters), Kaieteur News
Education Minister Sonia Parag used biometric attendance data to publicly shame an opposition MP, Dr. Gordon Barker, in Parliament — detailing his exact teaching tardiness down to the minute.
One Stabroek letter called it “a calculated data dump designed to silence dissent” and warned it’s “the canary in the coal mine for Guyana’s digital future.”
Meanwhile, Parag says biometrics will “boost teachers’ accountability, not punish them.”
Kaieteur’s editorial (“Parag’s Breach of Trust”) did not agree.
De Brief says: If the government can pull your exact attendance record and read it out in Parliament, maybe we should all be worried about what else is in that database. Just saying.
🚀 ROCKET LAUNCHES FROM OUR BACKYARD
Source: Stabroek News
The Ariane 64 heavy rocket launched from French Guiana carrying 32 Amazon satellites into orbit. This is the maiden flight of the four-booster version, and the start of 18 contracted launches for Amazon’s constellation.
De Brief says: Space rockets are literally launching from the Guiana coast and somehow we’re still arguing about whether the pumps are working in Georgetown. The future and the past, side by side, separated by about 400 miles.
🏗️ BUDGET WATCH: WHERE THE MONEY GOING
Source: Chronicle, Stabroek
The Committee of Supply continues grinding through Budget 2026 estimates:
| Allocation | Amount |
|---|---|
| Housing programme | $150 billion |
| GPL fuel subsidy | $25.8 billion |
| Stabroek Market + Bourda Green | $2 billion |
| Region 5 agricultural land | 55,000 acres opening |
| UG applications since free education | 16,000+ |
| New pre-med students enrolled | 210 |
| RDC/NDC stipend increases | Approved |
| Haags Bosch landfill | Closing by 2029 |
The housing minister said nobody should live without opportunity for land ownership. The education minister said UG now has more virtual students than physical ones. The local government minister said the landfill that everybody complains about is getting replaced.
De Brief says: We’re spending trillions. We’re opening thousands of acres. We’re building housing schemes faster than Guyanese can fill them. And yet… the city floods, the police are leaving, and Stabroek News is closing. Progress is complicated.
🏏 CRICKET CORNER: T20 WORLD CUP ACTION
Italy — yes, ITALY — beat Nepal in the T20 World Cup thanks to the Mosca brothers (Justin and Anthony) who hit unbeaten half-centuries. India steamrolled Namibia. The tournament continues in India and Sri Lanka.
Chase came for the lefties but took down the righties in local cricket. TG Titans won the Ogle Cricket Club tournament. LTI defended turf at Bayroc.
❤️ VALENTINE’S EVE: “LOVE SHOULDN’T HURT”
The Ministry of Human Services is hosting a domestic violence awareness event at Stabroek Market Square today. Dr. Cona Husbands said they’re running the campaign in 45 primary schools across Guyana.
Tomorrow is Valentine’s Day. A Love Shouldn’t Hurt webinar launches with the Ministry’s Legal Pro Bono Team.
De Brief says: This is genuinely important. Domestic violence remains one of Guyana’s most persistent crises. If you or someone you know needs help, the Ministry’s Hope and Justice Centres are there.
📰 QUICK HITS
- Cocaine intercepted in containers shipped from Guyana — caught in Belgium and Colombia
- Ex-prison officer gets bail on ganja trafficking charge
- Local Content Law being considered for the mining sector
- New panic app and legislation planned for school violence
- Freddie Kissoon says Guyana is freer than Western democracies (controversial take of the day)
- Guyana and Brazil developing joint border strike force
- CAF economic forum in Panama puts Caribbean centre stage — $1B pledged for Jamaica’s Hurricane Melissa recovery
Read time: 6 minutes ☕
That’s your Friday Brief, Guyana. Happy Friday the 13th — a fitting day for the news that Stabroek News is closing. Share this with somebody who grew up reading Stabroek. They deserve to know.
DISCLAIMER: The Daily Brief is satirical commentary on real news events. All opinions are our own. Please read actual news sources for complete coverage.