Happy Valentine’s Day, Guyana. Love is in the air. And so is the smell of flooding, budget drama, and the slow death of print journalism. Romantic.
📰 STABROEK NEWS IS SHUTTING DOWN
The biggest news today isn’t in any newspaper. It IS a newspaper. Stabroek News will cease print publication on March 15, 2026, after nearly 40 years. Parent company Guyana Publications Inc. (GPI) is entering voluntary liquidation. Chairman Brendan de Caires blamed global digital disruption — print advertising dropped 75% worldwide since 2004, and apparently even Guyana isn’t immune to people getting their news from WhatsApp forwards and TikTok videos of people falling off things.
Minister Kwame McCoy called it “regrettable,” which is the government equivalent of sending a “sorry for your loss” text. Kaieteur News covered it with barely concealed “we’re still here” energy.
One down. Three to go? This Brief just got 25% harder to write.
💸 DEMERARA BANK RAISES HOUSING LOAN CEILING TO $40M
Demerara Bank has increased its residential housing loan ceiling from $30M to $40M while keeping interest rates at 5%. This is genuinely good news for homebuyers in Guyana, where the housing boom is real and the demand for mortgages is enormous.
Of course, $40M Guyanese is roughly US$192,000 — which in Georgetown’s current property market might get you a nice two-bedroom if you squint. But progress is progress.
🏫 BIOMETRIC ATTENDANCE FOR TEACHERS
The Chronicle’s editorial today backed the Ministry of Education’s decision to introduce biometric attendance systems in schools. “Accountability and Modernisation,” they called it. Teachers may call it something else.
The argument: you can’t have world-class education if teachers don’t show up consistently. The counter-argument: you also can’t have world-class education with overcrowded classrooms, below-market salaries, and a biometric scanner that judges you harder than any parent ever could.
Education Minister Sonia Parag says it’s “not punishment.” It’s “a mechanism to strengthen accountability.” That is exactly what someone says before punishing you.
🔬 400 OF 600 MEN TEST POSITIVE FOR PROSTATE CANCER
This one is serious. Health Minister Dr. Frank Anthony revealed that of approximately 600 biopsies conducted last year, roughly 400 came back positive for prostate cancer. That’s a 67% positive rate, which is staggering.
The minister urged men to get screened. PSA tests and biopsies are now available through the public health system. If there’s one thing you do after reading this Brief today, gents — book that appointment. This isn’t a punchline.
🏗️ GTTCI OPENS IN PORT MOURANT
The Guyana Technical Training College Inc. (GTTCI) formally opens today in Port Mourant, Region Six. It’s designed to certify Guyanese workers for the oil and gas sector — particularly those who have the skills but lack the paperwork. Minister Bharrat says about 35 graduates have already gained offshore employment, many on the Unity FPSO.
The pitch: stop losing oil sector jobs to foreigners because Guyanese workers can’t produce a certificate. The reality: if this works, it’s genuinely transformative for Berbice. If it doesn’t, it’s another ribbon-cutting in a region that’s been promised everything and delivered… well, you know.
🏀 3×3 BASKETBALL CONFIRMED FOR GLASGOW 2026
Guyana’s men’s 3×3 basketball team has been officially confirmed for the Glasgow 2026 Commonwealth Games, July 24-29. This is only the second time 3×3 basketball features at the Commonwealth Games, and Guyana made the cut. The field has expanded from 8 to 12 teams per gender.
No sarcasm here. That’s a genuine achievement. Represent.
🎓 SIR RONALD SANDERS INSTALLED AS UG CHANCELLOR
Sir Ronald Sanders has officially become the 11th Chancellor of the University of Guyana. President Ali called him “a distinguished son of the soil” and set out a vision for UG to become a regional research powerhouse. Sanders is a former diplomat, Oxford visiting fellow, and holds honorary doctorates from UWI and UG itself.
President Ali also stressed aligning degrees with professional designations. Because apparently a PhD is nice, but a certificate from the GTTCI is what actually gets you a job.
📊 BUDGET DRAMA CONTINUES
Kaieteur’s take: The $40M allocated to the Office of the Commissioner of Information is “an insult.” Columnist GHK Lall and members of Red Thread protested outside Parliament, calling the budget “anti-poor” and questioning why Senior Counsel Charles Ramson (father of the sports minister) is getting $40M annually for an office that — according to the protestors — hasn’t produced a single useful response to information requests.
The Chronicle’s take: Everything is fine. The budget is transformational. Moving on.
Kaieteur’s editorial: “Georgetown cannot be redeemed.” A devastating column about the capital’s flooding, infrastructure decay, and the gap between development promises and gutter-level reality. Four inches of rain. Streets became canals. The official explanation: weather. The actual explanation: decades.
🇬🇾🇧🇷 GUYANA-BRAZIL JOINT STRIKE FORCE
President Ali announced that Guyana is developing a joint strike force with Brazil’s Roraima State to address transnational crime along their shared border. He also announced digital overhaul of the Police Force, e-ticketing integration with demerit systems, and baggage scanners at all airports.
If even half of this materialises, it would be significant. The track record on “announced at a conference” vs “actually implemented” remains… mixed.
🍗 VALENTINE’S DAY SPECIAL: DEM BOYS SEH
Kaieteur’s “Dem Boys Seh” column went in on Valentine’s Day restaurant prices. A “$25,000 Valentine’s Special” that’s “two forkful of rice, one chicken breast cut in half like it applying fuh passport, and a slice of cake small enough fuh hide under yuh tongue.” One man decided to cook at home, light a candle, spray air freshener, and call it “five-star ambiance.” The only star his wife saw was the one spinning round her head when she tasted the salty stew.
Happy Valentine’s Day indeed. 💀
🏭 DEL MONTE EYES PINEAPPLE INVESTMENT IN GUYANA
Food production giant Del Monte is reportedly looking at a massive pineapple investment in Guyana. Details are thin, but if the international agricultural giant sets up operations here, it would be a significant boost for non-oil agriculture. The Chronicle ran the story. Everyone else was too busy arguing about budgets.
⚓ ERREA WITTU FPSO MOORING COMPLETE
Jumbo Offshore has completed mooring pre-installation for ExxonMobil’s Errea Wittu FPSO at the Uaru Field. This is ExxonMobil’s fifth production vessel offshore Guyana. The machine keeps moving. 900,000 barrels per day and climbing.
That’s your Saturday Brief. Stabroek is dying. Teachers are getting scanned. Men, go get your prostate checked. And someone please tell the Valentine’s Day restaurant charging $25,000 for half a chicken that we see them.
Read the papers so you don’t have to: Guyana Chronicle, Stabroek News, Kaieteur News, Guyana Times.