Your satirical morning roundup from all four papers. Reading the news so you can laugh, cry, and argue at the same time.
⚖️ OPPOSITION LEADER ARRESTED… FOR BEING LATE
Sources: Kaieteur News, Stabroek News
Here’s how Monday went for Opposition Leader Azruddin Mohamed:
- 9:00 AM — Court called his name. He wasn’t there.
- 9:05 AM — Magistrate Judy Latchman issued an arrest warrant. Five minutes. That’s faster than most people decide what to eat for breakfast.
- 9:35 AM — Mohamed finally arrived. Was promptly handcuffed and escorted to the lock-ups.
Mohamed blamed the PPP/C, claiming the government “orchestrated events” to delay his arrival. The government has not commented, presumably because they were too busy not holding press conferences.
The magistrate eventually withdrew the warrant, telling Mohamed: “I will temper justice with mercy.” Which is judicial language for: “Boy, don’t try this again.”
The extradition case — a 25-page federal indictment from Miami alleging gold export fraud, money laundering, bribery, and millions in evaded taxes — was adjourned to February 18.
His father, Nazar Mohamed, remains unwell.
| Mohamed’s Monday | Time |
|---|---|
| Court starts | 9:00 AM |
| Warrant issued | 9:05 AM |
| Mohamed arrives | 9:35 AM |
| Handcuffed | 9:36 AM |
| Warrant withdrawn | ~10:00 AM |
| Next hearing | Feb 18 |
The Brief’s Take: Five minutes. That’s the grace period between “respected member of parliament” and “take him to the lock-ups.” Imagine if Georgetown minibuses ran on this schedule.
🔫 NCN CAMERAMAN BROUGHT A GUN TO COURT
Source: Kaieteur News
If the Mohamed arrest wasn’t enough drama for one courthouse, an NCN cameraman was arrested at the same Georgetown Magistrates’ Court after someone noticed he was carrying what appeared to be a firearm in his waistband.
Here’s where it gets interesting:
- The cameraman had only been at NCN for a few months
- He was not originally scheduled to cover Monday’s proceedings
- He was reportedly instructed by a senior government official to cover the Mohamed extradition case
Let that marinate.
A government media employee, freshly hired, sent specifically to cover the opposition leader’s court appearance, shows up with a weapon. Whether it was a real firearm or a replica remains under investigation, but the optics are absolutely terrible no matter how you slice it.
The Brief’s Take: Nobody brings a gun to court by accident. They do it on purpose or because they forgot they had one — and honestly, we’re not sure which answer is worse.
💔 STABROEK NEWS: A NATION IN MOURNING
Sources: Stabroek News, Kaieteur News, Chronicle
Today’s Stabroek News letters page is essentially an obituary section for itself. The paper is closing March 15, and the outpouring is overwhelming:
- Georgetown Mayor called the closure “a profound loss to our society” and noted the paper was repeatedly denied a radio licence
- Former journalists described it as “the newspaper of record” and praised editor Anand Persaud’s work ethic
- One letter compared the government’s treatment: billions to bail out GuySuCo, but can’t ensure an independent newspaper survives. “All Stabroek News needs is honest and equal treatment.”
- Another writer noted the “perverse timing” — announcing closure on Friday the 13th, final edition on the Ides of March
The letters page today reads like a combination funeral, protest rally, and love letter. And through it all, Stabroek News is still publishing — still asking questions, still giving voice to the voiceless, right up to the last page.
The Brief’s Take: A country with a $1.558 trillion budget and the world’s fastest-growing economy is losing its newspaper of record. Let that contradiction sit with you.
🛢️ ENERGY CONFERENCE OPENS — TRI-STAR PORT LAUNCHES
Sources: Stabroek News, Chronicle
The fifth Guyana Energy Conference and Supply Chain Expo opens TODAY at the Marriott Hotel, running February 17-20 under the theme “Building Tomorrow’s Future Today.”
The big announcement: Tri-Star port, pioneered by US-based Guyanese Kris Persaud, will be officially launched.
Meanwhile, President Ali used his weekend commissioning of the $20 billion Guyana Technical Training College at Port Mourant to lay out his vision:
- Deep-water port decisions coming before end of Q1
- Phase 2 gas decisions coming before end of Q1
- Brazil’s Roraima governor bringing a delegation to discuss transshipment
- Guyana positioned as “logistics gateway” for northern Brazil
- Everything must be on point by 2030
Ali also took shots at the opposition’s budget critiques: “The type of simplistic narrative shows an immense lack of understanding of how national development takes place.”
The Brief’s Take: Say what you want about Ali — the man has a vision. Whether the execution matches the PowerPoint remains the country’s billion-dollar question. Literally.
🏢 HAKEEM OLAJUWON WANTS TO SELL YOU A CONDO
Source: Chronicle
NBA Hall of Famer Hakeem “The Dream” Olajuwon is co-developing TAJ Dream Ogle with Coastal Rim Properties. The deal:
- Units starting at US$250,000
- US$100,000 discount for all Guyanese citizens (local and diaspora) in the first 60 days
- That brings the entry price down to US$150,000
Minister of Tourism Susan Rodrigues called it “exactly the private sector leadership we need.”
Olajuwon praised Guyana’s “stable, investor-friendly climate” and “measurable improvements in public safety metrics.”
| TAJ Dream Ogle | Details |
|---|---|
| Starting price | US$250,000 |
| Guyanese discount | US$100,000 |
| Discounted price | US$150,000 |
| Discount window | 60 days |
| Co-Developer | Hakeem Olajuwon |
The Brief’s Take: US$150,000 for a condo in Ogle. The average Guyanese monthly salary is roughly GY$80,000 (about US$380). You’d need to save every dollar for 32 years. But hey — Hakeem believes in the dream, and dreams don’t come with mortgage calculators.
🏥 ALI ORDERS 6-WEEK HEALTH BLITZ
Source: Chronicle
President Ali has directed the Health Ministry to launch a nationwide public health campaign within six weeks to tackle chronic diseases. He wants flyers, programmes, and partnerships with religious and community leaders to reach every citizen.
Ali also announced a new level-five teaching hospital in New Amsterdam that will serve as a regional cardiac and research centre — “a hospital that will specialise in research and cardiac services, a cardiac centre for the whole region.”
Meanwhile, Dr. Vishwa Mahadeo defended telemedicine during budget debate:
- 4 sites in 2022 → 130 sites by end of February 2026
- Target: 150 sites by year-end
- 15,000 people accessed telemedicine-equipped facilities last year
- 6,363 patients used the system
- 1,293 video consultations conducted
The Brief’s Take: Telemedicine went from 4 sites to 130 in four years. That’s legitimately impressive. Now if we could apply that same growth rate to water treatment, we’d really be cooking.
✈️ NEW AIRPORTS FOR LETHEM AND ROSE HALL
Source: Chronicle
Government has issued Requests for Proposals for two new municipal airports:
- Lethem (Region 9): Code 4E airport supporting larger aircraft, connecting Guyana to Brazil
- Rose Hall (Region 6): Improving domestic travel and commerce
Both will be built under an EPC+F model (Engineering, Procurement, Construction and Finance), meaning private investors will help finance the projects.
The Brief’s Take: Lethem getting a real airport could transform the Rupununi. Rose Hall getting one means the Berbice diaspora might actually visit more. Both are overdue.
⚖️ 2020 ELECTIONS TRIAL RESUMES
Source: Chronicle
The trial over alleged irregularities during the March 2020 elections resumed Monday after a two-month break. PPP/C agent Sasenarine Singh testified about the infamous moment when Region 4 Returning Officer Clairmont Mingo was “taken out on a stretcher.”
Six years later, we’re still in court over this. The trial continues under case-management guidelines.
The Brief’s Take: 2020 was SIX years ago. At this rate, they’ll finish the trial just in time for the next election.
🚗 TRAFFIC CRACKDOWN: 3,257 VIOLATIONS IN ONE WEEK
Source: Chronicle
The Traffic Department reported a staggering 3,257 violations for February 8-14:
| Offence | Cases |
|---|---|
| Speeding | 1,161 |
| Seatbelt violations | 134 |
| No helmet (rider) | 124 |
| Vehicles in dangerous positions | 100 |
| Unlicenced drivers | 56 |
| No helmet (pillion) | 46 |
| Rear lights | 41 |
| Front lights | 44 |
| DUI | 29 |
The Brief’s Take: 1,161 speeding cases in one week. In a country where the roads have potholes the size of swimming pools. Impressive commitment to self-harm.
🌍 WORLD WATCH
US-Iran Nuclear Talks: Second round of negotiations happening TODAY in Geneva. Iran’s Foreign Minister says he has “real ideas to achieve a fair and equitable deal.” Trump says he’ll be “indirectly involved.” Two aircraft carriers deployed to the Middle East. Iran is running military drills in the Strait of Hormuz. BREAKING: Iran says an understanding on “main principles” has been reached.
Caribbean Drug Boat Strikes: US military struck another vessel Friday, killing 3. Death toll now at 133 killed in 38+ strikes since September. Barbados FM expressed concern the strikes “may have bypassed due process.” US hasn’t provided evidence for most strikes.
Russia-Ukraine: US hosting envoy talks in Geneva Tuesday-Wednesday, days before the 4th anniversary of Russia’s invasion.
📊 KAIETEUR’S CORNER
Kaieteur ran an editorial blasting Ali for governing via Facebook Live instead of press conferences. Key quote from the editorial: the President is “acting as his own chief propagandist, speaking at the public rather than answering to it.”
They also called the proposed Manpower Agency redundant given the existing ministry function, and ran a letter calling the 2026 budget “a vision — but for whom?” arguing it serves the private sector, not ordinary Guyanese.
The Brief’s Take: When your President prefers Facebook Live to press conferences, and your newspaper of record is closing, it’s worth asking: who’s left to ask the uncomfortable questions?
📈 TODAY’S SCORE
| Paper | Good News | Bad News | Bizarre |
|---|---|---|---|
| Chronicle | 8 | 1 | 1 |
| Stabroek | 1 | 6 | 2 |
| Kaieteur | 0 | 7 | 2 |
| Times | 2 | 2 | 1 |
Mood of the Nation: Mourning Stabroek News, confused about the cameraman with the gun, impressed by Hakeem Olajuwon’s cameo, and deeply skeptical that anyone can afford a US$150K condo.
That’s your Tuesday Brief. Tomorrow we’ll see if the Mohamed extradition hearing produces more drama. Stay informed, stay skeptical, stay Guyanese.
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