Bam-Bam Sally is a fictional neighbourhood auntie. Her opinions are her own. All gossip is fictional.
Adjusts housedress. Leans on gate. Begins.
So I hear oil reach one hundred dollars a barrel. ONE HUNDRED. And I say to my neighbour — de nice one, not de one with de dog — I say, “You feel we gon see any of dat?” And she look at me. And I look at she. And we both start laugh until we nearly fall down. Because we know, darling. We KNOW.
I not saying nothing bad. I just saying: when de big money come, it does arrive at de top and then it does take a long, scenic journey before it reach de bottom. And by de time it reach people like me and you, it done pass through so many hands it barely remember where it start from. That is not bitterness. That is geography.
Now. Dis cash grant business.
One hundred thousand dollars for every adult Guyanese. I hear dis and I say, “Sally, dat is REAL.” Then I hear you need a bank account. I say, “Sally, half de people you know don’t have a bank account.” Then I hear de people without accounts gon get it through a digital platform. I say, “Sally, what is a digital platform and where it located?”
My niece tell me is like an app or a website or something so. I ask her when it coming. She say she don’t know. I ask her who know. She shrug.
So right now de money real, de promise real, and de platform is… forthcoming. I not vex. I just noting. Sally always noting.
And what about dem fifty families in Friendship getting evict?
Fifty families, people. That is not a small thing. That is a STREET of people. And I hear de minister is in Uruguay. Uruguay! Which is a country, I checked. My grandson showed me on the phone. Nice country. Very far from Friendship, East Bank Demerara.
I pray for dem families. I really do. Because a roof is not a small thing. A roof is a very large, important thing. Especially when it raining. And it does rain in this country.
I also want to say — the National Park vandalism really upset me.
The park is for EVERYBODY. It is one of the few places in Georgetown where you can go and just SIT and not have to buy anything or explain yourself to anybody. And some people went there and mash it up deliberately. On camera! Clear as day on camera!
And they not catch yet.
Sally is watching. Sally has time.
One more thing before I go back inside.
Jasmine Abrams and de Athletics Association parted ways. I don’t know all de details, but I know this: when a talented young woman leaves her national federation, somebody somewhere made it not worth staying. I don’t know who. But I know the pattern.
We have so few people flying the flag that high. We should be building golden staircases for them, not making it hard to stay.
That is Sally’s opinion. Sally’s opinion is free.
Alright. My tea getting cold. Una stay safe. Drink water. And if you see something wrong, say something. That is what community is for.
— Bam-Bam Sally, Fictional Georgetown, March 2026
Bam-Bam Sally is a fictional character. All neighbours, events, and opinions in this column are satirical.