Your satirical look at today’s Guyanese newspapers — because if you don’t laugh, you cry 🇬🇾
🛢️ Oil Hits US$100 a Barrel and Guyana Has Complicated Feelings
The Middle East conflict has pushed crude to triple digits, which means Guyana is simultaneously experiencing its best financial news of the year and a quiet national existential crisis. Citizens who paid $800 for flour last week are processing this development at their own pace. ExxonMobil said it was “monitoring the situation closely,” which is corporation-speak for “counting the money.”
⚖️ Court of Appeal to the Mohameds: Absolutely No Merit. Also Pay $1.5M.
The Guyana Court of Appeal delivered yet another blow to the gold-export duo facing US extradition, ruling their appeal had “absolutely no merit” and ordering $1.5 million each in costs. Acting Chancellor Roxane George found no evidence of bias, no reason to delay, and apparently no patience left either. The pair allegedly reused government customs seals on gold shipments and cost Guyana roughly US$50 million — which, at current oil prices, the government could earn back by Thursday lunchtime.
💰 Kaieteur Calculates Guyana Is Leaving US$9M Per Day on the Table
A 25% windfall tax on ExxonMobil’s Stabroek Block production would yield at least nine million US dollars more daily for Guyana at current oil prices. The government has not applied the windfall tax. The government has not explained why. The government did attend a press conference about something else.
💵 $100,000 Cash Grant Has Begun — For People Who Already Have Bank Accounts
The long-promised National Cash Grant has started distribution, beginning with Central Government employees who receive salaries by bank transfer. Citizens without bank accounts will access their grants through a digital platform currently described as “being set up.” Three things are simultaneously under development: the grant, the timeline, and the definition of “digital platform.” A fourth thing — the bank account — citizens are apparently expected to organise themselves.
📰 Stabroek News Is Gone. Guyana Has One Independent Paper Left.
Guyana’s most trusted independent newspaper printed its final edition on March 15. The presses on George Street ran for the last time in the early hours of that morning. Kaieteur News — now the sole independent voice in the country’s media landscape — called it “a sad day for Guyana” and noted pointedly that a country getting richer while its free press gets poorer is not a sign of democratic health. The Daily Brief agrees. A moment of silence, followed immediately by continued coverage.
✈️ Minister Edghill Represents Guyana at Infrastructure Summit in Uruguay
The Minister of Public Works has travelled to Montevideo to discuss regional infrastructure with South American leaders. This is excellent news for regional infrastructure in Uruguay. Roads in Guyana will be addressed at a future summit, exact date TBD.
🏠 50+ Families Face Eviction at Friendship, EBD
More than fifty families are being removed from a private property at Friendship, East Bank Demerara. APNU is calling on the government to provide emergency housing. The government is in Uruguay.
🏃♀️ Jasmine Abrams Parts Ways With the AAG
Pan American Games 100m silver medallist Jasmine Abrams has officially ended her relationship with the Athletics Association of Guyana and will no longer represent Guyana internationally. The AAG has not provided details on what led to the split. The AAG has historically been easier to understand in hindsight.
📹 National Park Vandalism Caught on CCTV — Suspects Still at Large
The Protected Areas Commission has raised alarm over deliberate vandalism at the National Park, with suspects clearly visible on CCTV footage. The suspects have not been apprehended. The footage is, however, in excellent condition.
🛢️ Citizens Can Raise Concerns About ExxonMobil — Through ExxonMobil
The company has announced that members of the public can raise complaints about its oil and gas operations directly to the company. ExxonMobil did not elaborate on what happens to those complaints after submission. The complaints will presumably be monitored closely.
The Daily Brief is a satirical publication. Stories are based on real events reported in the Guyana Chronicle, Kaieteur News, and Guyana Times. Stabroek News, formerly our fourth source, published its final edition on March 15, 2026.