DJ Roadblock broadcasting live from de booth. All gossip fictional. All vibes very real.

🎵 Tune in, tune in, tune in… 🎵

WHAT IS GOING ON GUYANA, it’s your boy DJ ROADBLOCK coming to you LIVE from de only radio station dat tell it like it is — even when it hurt.

We reaching the end of MARCH and de week has been a WEEK, people. Let we run it down.

OIL AT ONE HUNDRED DOLLARS.

One. Hundred. Dollars. Per barrel. You know what dat mean? It mean Guyana, technically, is sitting on a GOLD MINE. Well, an OIL mine. Well, ExxonMobil sitting on it, but you know what I mean. De point is — somewhere in this equation, Guyana should be eating WELL. DJ Roadblock checking his pocket. DJ Roadblock’s pocket has not yet received de memo.

SONG OF DE WEEK for dis situation: Anything with a beat dat sound like counting money you not seeing yet.

DE MOHAMEDS LOST AGAIN.

Court of Appeal say: no merit. Pay one point five million each in costs. The legal team apparently argued with great passion and considerable length, and the court apparently listened with great patience and then said no. DJ Roadblock respects the consistency of both sides.

DEDICATIONS: One going out to the Mohameds’ lawyers. Undefeated in billable hours.

MINISTER EDGHILL IN URUGUAY.

Big man gone to Montevideo for an infrastructure summit. DJ Roadblock googled Uruguay. It’s a real place. Nice stadium. Good beef. Roads probably fix over there. But we not talking about Uruguay roads, we talking about OUR roads.

Heard there’s a pothole on a certain street in Georgetown that has now been there so long, neighbours starting to name it. DJ Roadblock will not confirm which street. But the pothole’s name is apparently “Gerald.”

SHOUTOUT to Gerald. He was here before and he gon be here after.

BAM-BAM SALLY UPDATE:

Sally seh she ent going anywhere until de road in front her gate get fix. Sally been saying this since November. Sally is now also a traffic cone, functionally speaking. We love Sally. Sally is community.

BEFORE I GO — de announcements:

🎵 Someone’s nephew is driving a minibus on the East Coast route and does play music TOO LOUD. You know who you are. Your passengers know who you are. DJ Roadblock knows who you are. Turn it down approximately forty percent and we good.

🎵 De market by the seawall apparently has the best pineapple in Georgetown right now. Somebody tell somebody tell DJ Roadblock. He went. It’s true. Go get some.

🎵 Free advice: if yuh planning to do something and you need to ask whether you should, you probably shouldn’t.

That’s a WRAP on de week, Georgetown. DJ Roadblock out. Stay hydrated. Fix yuh potholes. Call yuh mother.

ONE LOVE. ONE GUYANA. ONE GERALD. 🇬🇾

DJ Roadblock is a fictional character. His views are his own. His music recommendations are excellent.