De Boys Seh is Speedeet and Wilar’s take on the week’s events. They are twelve years old. They have thoughts.
SPEEDEET: Wilar. Did you hear about de wheelbarrow?
WILAR: I heard about the wheelbarrow.
SPEEDEET: He brought a WHEELBARROW. To pay de court.
WILAR: Yes.
SPEEDEET: With COINS. In a WHEELBARROW.
WILAR: I understood it the first time, Speedeet.
SPEEDEET: But DO you UNDERSTAND it? Like do you fully understand what happened? A man — a grown man — a MAN WHO IS IN PARLIAMENT — brought a wheelbarrow full of coins to pay a four-million-dollar debt.
WILAR: Four and a half million.
SPEEDEET: I can’t even COUNT to four and a half million. And he put it in a wheelbarrow.
WILAR: He also said he had to break his children’s piggy bank.
SPEEDEET: (long pause) Do you think the piggy bank was real?
WILAR: I genuinely don’t know.
SPEEDEET: If I broke MY piggy bank right now, I have maybe twelve hundred dollars. Mostly in ten-dollar coins.
WILAR: My bank has eight hundred and some foreign money my grandmother gave me that I’m not sure is real currency anymore.
SPEEDEET: So between us we have like two thousand dollars.
WILAR: Approximately.
SPEEDEET: And this man came with FOUR MILLION.
WILAR: Four and a half.
SPEEDEET: IN A WHEELBARROW.
WILAR: You keep saying that part.
SPEEDEET: Because dat’s de MOST IMPORTANT PART, Wilar! De wheelbarrow! You don’t just HAVE a wheelbarrow full of cash ready to go somewhere! You have to PREPARE dat! You have to PLAN dat! Somebody COUNTED all dem coins beforehand!
WILAR: (thoughtfully) That’s actually a good point. Someone had to prepare that payment. That’s hours of counting.
SPEEDEET: WHO WAS COUNTING? Did he make he children count it? Is THAT what he meant by “piggy bank”? DE CHILDREN WERE DE PIGGY BANK?
WILAR: Speedeet, I think you need to take a breath.
SPEEDEET: I’m very invested in this story.
WILAR: I noticed.
SPEEDEET: Okay. Other things. The CCJ.
WILAR: The Caribbean Court of Justice. The highest court in the region.
SPEEDEET: So this court is like… above all the other courts?
WILAR: For most Caribbean countries that are members, yes. It’s the final court of appeal.
SPEEDEET: So if you lose at the CCJ, that’s it? It’s done?
WILAR: Essentially. You’ve run out of courts.
SPEEDEET: (quietly) You can run out of courts?
WILAR: Yes.
SPEEDEET: I didn’t know you could run out of courts. I thought courts just… kept going.
WILAR: No. Eventually there’s a final one.
SPEEDEET: Dat is a very important thing to know.
WILAR: It is.
SPEEDEET: What happens after dat?
WILAR: After the CCJ decides?
SPEEDEET: Yes.
WILAR: Then whatever they decide happens.
SPEEDEET: (thinking) So if the CCJ says yes to the extradition…
WILAR: Then the extradition process continues.
SPEEDEET: And if they say no?
WILAR: Then the process pauses or stops.
SPEEDEET: And there’s no court after dat to appeal to?
WILAR: No.
SPEEDEET: (long pause) How many courts have they been to so far?
WILAR: Three. The High Court, the Court of Appeal, and now the CCJ.
SPEEDEET: And they lost the first two?
WILAR: Yes.
SPEEDEET: So they have one court left.
WILAR: That is correct.
SPEEDEET: (whistles slowly) Dat’s a lot of courts.
WILAR: It is.
SPEEDEET: I’ve never been to a court.
WILAR: Let’s keep it that way.
SPEEDEET: Okay. The cash grant.
WILAR: The $100,000 national cash grant, yes. Going to public servants and teachers and the disciplined services this week.
SPEEDEET: Do our teachers get it?
WILAR: If they’re public school teachers, yes. They’re government employees.
SPEEDEET: Mr. Ramcharran is going to get a hundred thousand dollars?
WILAR: Presumably.
SPEEDEET: (awed silence) Do you think that’ll make him nicer?
WILAR: I don’t think $100,000 changes someone’s fundamental personality, Speedeet.
SPEEDEET: What if he buys something nice? And it puts him in a good mood?
WILAR: Our math homework is still due Friday regardless of Mr. Ramcharran’s financial situation.
SPEEDEET: I know. I’m just saying. A man who just got a hundred thousand dollars might grade more generously.
WILAR: That’s not how grading works.
SPEEDEET: It SHOULD be.
WILAR: It really shouldn’t.
SPEEDEET: Exxon wants more oil.
WILAR: From Yellowtail, yes. They want to increase production.
SPEEDEET: Does de oil ever run out?
WILAR: Eventually. All oil reserves deplete over time.
SPEEDEET: How long?
WILAR: For Guyana’s known reserves at current production rates? Several decades at least.
SPEEDEET: So we’ll be like… how old?
WILAR: Very old. Possibly quite old.
SPEEDEET: So when de oil runs out, we’ll be the ones dealing with it.
WILAR: (pause) That’s… actually a correct way to think about it.
SPEEDEET: Tanks aren’t going to be happy about dat.
WILAR: Tanks?
SPEEDEET: Future us. We should probably be thinking about what comes after.
WILAR: (slowly) Speedeet, are you making a surprisingly mature point about intergenerational resource planning?
SPEEDEET: I’m making a point about not wanting problems when I’m old.
WILAR: That’s the same thing.
SPEEDEET: Don’t tell anyone. It’ll ruin my reputation.
SPEEDEET: Last thing. Stabroek News closed.
WILAR: Yes. March 15th. After nearly forty years.
SPEEDEET: I don’t really read newspapers.
WILAR: No, we’re twelve.
SPEEDEET: But that’s a long time. Forty years is longer than our parents have been alive.
WILAR: Some of our parents, yes.
SPEEDEET: (quietly) That’s a lot of newspapers.
WILAR: Tens of thousands of editions.
SPEEDEET: And now it’s just… gone?
WILAR: The print edition is gone. Digital content may continue in some form.
SPEEDEET: Wilar.
WILAR: Yes?
SPEEDEET: We should probably read the news more.
WILAR: (pause) …Yes. I think we probably should.
SPEEDEET: Not every day.
WILAR: No. But sometimes.
SPEEDEET: Deal.
(long pause)
SPEEDEET: Can we talk about the wheelbarrow again?
WILAR: Oh my goodness, Speedeet.
De Boys Seh runs every week on the Guyana Daily Brief. Speedeet and Wilar are twelve years old and from Pike Street, Kitty, Georgetown. Their commentary is their own and represents no one’s political views except those of two twelve-year-olds who are very interested in wheelbarrows.