Disclaimer: DJ Roadblock’s Traffic Report is satirical commentary on Guyana’s road infrastructure and general traffic situations. No specific individuals are referenced or targeted. This is entertainment about SYSTEMS and SITUATIONS, not people.

🎙️ WAAAAAH GWAAN GUYANA! Is ya boy DJ Roadblock comin’ at you LIVE from de dashboard, Friday afternoon edition — and bai, is a special week because the GOVERNMENT just CLAIMED twenty-two streets in Georgetown and now everybody arguing about who responsible for de potholes!

Which, for me, professionally speaking, is de most exciting development in road news since somebody put a speed bump in front of a minibus depot and de drivers had to slow down for once in their LIVES.

🔴 CAMP STREET — PHILOSOPHICAL ZONE

Camp Street is now a government road. Which means de pothole at de corner of Camp and Robb is now a NATIONAL pothole. A pothole of SOVEREIGN IMPORTANCE. Me personally feel like it deserve a plaque. “This crater existed before, during, and after the transfer of municipal authority, March 2026.” Frame it. Put it in de museum.

Traffic: Slow, as always. De pothole hasn’t moved. De cone is still there from January. Government ownership has not yet improved cone management.

🟡 VLISSENGEN ROAD — NOW UNDER NEW MANAGEMENT

De government also took Vlissengen Road, which is de road everybody uses when dem tired of de East Coast highway backup. Vlissengen is now Ministry of Public Works property and honestly? Me giving it six months before we see actual improvement. That is not pessimism. That is de established timeline for Guyanese road works.

Friday afternoon traffic on Vlissengen: moving but miserable. De usual minibus situation at de junctions. De usual pedestrian playing chicken with a Premio. Normal Friday.

🔴 REGENT STREET — MARKET DAY CHAOS CONTINUES

Regent Street: also now a government road. Regent Street on a Friday afternoon is ALWAYS a government problem, regardless of who owns it on paper. De market traffic, de double-parked vehicles, de man selling phones from a cooler — none of this is affected by ownership transfer.

DJ Roadblock’s advice: avoid Regent Street between 3pm and 6pm on any day ending in Y.

🟢 EAST BANK DEMERARA — MOVING SURPRISINGLY WELL

Me don’t want to jinx it but EBD is moving. De highway expansion works are still ongoing — twenty lanes of interconnecting highways they promised — but for now, Friday afternoon heading south is actually bearable. Don’t ask me why. Enjoy it while it last.

🔴 PARIKA ROAD — WEEKEND EXODUS BEGINNING

Every Friday like this: Georgetown emptying out, people heading to Parika to catch boats, heading to the Essequibo for the weekend. De road is managing. De ferry schedule is not managing. But that is a maritime problem, not a traffic problem, and DJ Roadblock maintains his lane.

🚦 DJ ROADBLOCK’S FRIDAY VERDICT:

The government now owns twenty-two streets. The streets have not yet noticed. The potholes remain. The cones remain. The minibuses remain. The man selling bottled water at the Brickdam junction remains.

But it is FRIDAY, Guyana. And on Friday, we forgive the roads their sins, we navigate them with patience, we reach where we going, and we enjoy the weekend.

Drive safe. Signal before you turn. And if you hit a pothole on a gazetted government road — remember, you now have someone specific to call.

📻 DJ Roadblock — Keeping it real from de dashboard. Every Friday.

Satirical content. No real individuals referenced. Road conditions described are composite and fictional representations of typical Georgetown traffic situations.