De Boys Seh is a weekly community roundtable. De boys gather. De boys talk. What could go wrong.

Shorty: Bai, yuh see de water out deh dis morning?

Tallman: My drain? Full. Me neighbour drain? Full. De gutter in front Mr. Persaud shop? Full. Everybody drain full except de government plan fuh fix dem.

Porkchop: Dem drain been de same since my grandfather time, bai. Dem drain older dan independence.

Cheddi-B: Wha really get me is de street ting. So de government take over 22 Georgetown roads now?

Shorty: And block de councillors from de Water Street building wit POLICE.

Tallman: POLICE, bai. For a road dispute. Dem send police.

Porkchop: Well, to be fair, dem say de roads was neglected.

Cheddi-B: De roads WAS neglected. But whose neglected dem? And now who responsible if dem neglected again after de government take dem?

Shorty: Dat is de part dey don’t explain.

Tallman: Mayor vex though. He show up and dem tell him “orders from above.” Dem wouldn’t even say who above.

Porkchop: “Orders from above.” Bai. Is like a jumbie give de order. Nobody name, nobody face, just… above.

Cheddi-B: Above. Like God. Or de 14th floor.

[Laughter]

Shorty: And de Karpowership still here. Contract getting extended again.

Tallman: Listen, when dem say Gas-to-Energy was going take time, me didn’t know dey mean GEOLOGICAL time.

Porkchop: De gas moving slower dan de drain water.

Cheddi-B: To be fair — is a big project.

Tallman: Everything is a big project, Cheddi-B. All de projects big. None ah dem on time. At some point dat stop being coincidence.

Shorty: AFC say de cost ballooning and dey not getting answers.

Porkchop: When AFC and Kaieteur News agree on something, is usually because something actually wrong.

Cheddi-B: Or because election coming and everybody positioning.

Shorty: Can’t both be true?

Tallman: BOTH ALWAYS TRUE. Dis is Guyana.

[General agreement]

Cheddi-B: Yuh hear Fenty Beauty land in Georgetown?

Porkchop: Me daughter call me before I even wake up Saturday morning. She was CRYING, bai. Actual tears. Fuh makeup.

Shorty: Is not just makeup though. Is Rihanna. Guyanese people does take Rihanna personal.

Tallman: She not Guyanese.

Shorty: She Caribbean. Close enough. We claiming her.

Porkchop: We claim everybody who achieve something. Michael Jordan great-grandmother from Berbice? GUYANESE. Some astronaut born in Brooklyn to Trinidadian parents? GUYANESE.

Cheddi-B: We have a broad definition of Guyanese.

Tallman: De diaspora broad. De definition match.

[Laughter]

Shorty: So overall — good week, bad week?

Tallman: Flooding: bad. Streets fight: complicated. Karpowership: ongoing. ExxonMobil spending locally: good. Fenty Beauty: de women happy so everybody life easier.

Porkchop: Jagan Memorial Cycle Race today in Berbice. Me cousin riding.

Cheddi-B: Tell him we rooting.

Porkchop: He go finish last like always but he does enjoy it.

Shorty: Participation is everything, bai.

Tallman: Same time next week?

Everyone: Same time next week.

De Boys Seh is a fictional weekly community commentary. De boys, de corner, and de opinions are all satirical. Any resemblance to your own family WhatsApp group is purely because Guyanese people everywhere discussing de same tings.