⚠️ DISCLAIMER: The Rumour Mill is entirely fictional satire. All characters, situations, and “rumours” presented here are invented for entertainment purposes only. Any resemblance to real persons, living or dead, is coincidental. This content is produced in compliance with Guyana’s Cybercrime Act. No real individuals are identified or targeted.
“If yuh ain’t hear it from me, yuh ain’t hear it at all.” — Bam-Bam Sally, every Wednesday since she had a tongue
Good morning, darlings. Pull up a chair. The mill is turning.
THE MINISTRY THAT LOST ITS FILES
Word reaching Sally from a very reliable source (her cousin who works near a building) is that a certain ministry had a rather exciting Tuesday when an entire cabinet of files went on an unscheduled vacation. Nobody is saying where the files went. The files are not commenting. What Sally can tell you is that when paperwork disappears in Georgetown, it is never because it got lost. Paperwork in this city knows exactly where it is going. The question is always who sent it there.
THE MEETING THAT DIDN’T HAPPEN
There is a very important meeting that was supposed to happen last week between two very important parties about a very important matter. Sally is not naming names because she doesn’t do that. What she will say is: the meeting did not happen, the reason given was “scheduling,” and scheduling in Guyana means one of the parties has decided that what they were about to agree to is no longer something they want written down anywhere. Watch this space.
THE CAR THAT IS NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS
A certain shiny vehicle was spotted in a certain car park on a certain afternoon by a certain someone who told their friend who told Sally. The vehicle belongs to someone who, officially, could not afford it on their declared income. The vehicle is very shiny. The vehicle does not know it is being discussed. Sally is simply noting that cars cannot lie, even when their owners can.
THE RESIGNATION THAT WASN’T
Rumour has it a senior-ish official tendered a resignation recently and then un-tendered it within forty-eight hours after a phone call from someone more senior. Sally is told the resignation letter is still in existence somewhere, which means it has a kind of power that the official would prefer it didn’t. A resignation letter in a desk drawer is not a resignation. It is a threat. Whether that threat is pointed outward or inward is the question everyone in that office is quietly trying to determine.
BAM-BAM SALLY’S WORD TO THE WISE
The Corentyne River fees situation is still unresolved. The people most affected by it are not the officials negotiating it. They never are. Sally knows a woman whose produce crosses that river twice a week and the fees are eating into what used to be profit and is now barely covering costs. The real news is not always in the press conference. Sometimes it is in a woman counting her change at the end of a very long day.
The Rumour Mill publishes every Wednesday. All content is fiction. Bam-Bam Sally is a satirical character. The Guyana Daily Brief operates in full compliance with Guyana’s Cybercrime Act Section 19.