De Boys Seh is written from the perspective of Speedeet and Wilar — two 12-year-old boys from Pike Street, Kitty, Georgetown. Speedeet is Black, Wilar is East Indian. They are best friends and they have opinions about everything.
WILAR: Speedeet. Speedeet. Yuh hear de government give out $100,000 to people?
SPEEDEET: Yeah man. My granny get she cheque. She buy a new pot and put de rest in de bible.
WILAR: In de bible?
SPEEDEET: She say is de safest place. Nobody deh tekking money outta de bible.
WILAR: My fadda say he ain’t get he yet because de digital ting not working in Region 9.
SPEEDEET: Region 9 is de one with de mountains?
WILAR: Yeah. Dem does get everything last. De road last, de light last, now de money last.
SPEEDEET: At least dem getting it though.
WILAR: True. Better late than never like Miss Ramona does say.
SPEEDEET: Wilar, you see dem put 22,000 street light?
WILAR: I see. My street still dark though.
SPEEDEET: Mine too. Dem mus’ be put de 22,000 on de road de minister live on.
WILAR: (laughing) Speedeet!
SPEEDEET: I ain’t lying. Every time I walking home at night I does be using my phone flashlight like I exploring a cave.
WILAR: Maybe we is cave explorers.
SPEEDEET: Cave explorers does get paid. We just walking home.
WILAR: 101 new police graduate.
SPEEDEET: 101. That is a dalmatian number.
WILAR: What?
SPEEDEET: 101 Dalmatians. De movie. With de dogs.
WILAR: (pause) Speedeet why you know dat?
SPEEDEET: My little sister watch it every day for three months straight. I know every word.
WILAR: So we got 101 new police that remind you of a dog movie.
SPEEDEET: Not de dogs. De number. Why they couldn’t graduate 100? Or 102? Why 101 specifically?
WILAR: Maybe dat’s just how many passed.
SPEEDEET: Or maybe somebody fail at de last minute and had to be put back in.
WILAR: You real suspicious of everything.
SPEEDEET: My granny say always question de numbers. She’s an accountant.
WILAR: She put money in de bible.
SPEEDEET: She’s a retired accountant.
WILAR: De table tennis team qualify for de CAC Games.
SPEEDEET: Shemar Britton? He real good.
WILAR: You ever play table tennis Speedeet?
SPEEDEET: I play on my granny table once. Knock off a vase.
WILAR: What happen?
SPEEDEET: I ain’t play table tennis again.
WILAR: (long pause) De vase did break?
SPEEDEET: In approximately forty pieces. Some small ones we never find.
WILAR: (nodding slowly) Yeah. Table tennis not for everybody.
SPEEDEET: Wilar. You think de road from Palmyra to Moleson Creek gon be nice?
WILAR: My uncle drive dat road. He say it real bad.
SPEEDEET: $604 million. That’s a lotta money for one road.
WILAR: It’s four lanes though.
SPEEDEET: Four lanes going where though? Who driving four lanes to Moleson Creek?
WILAR: People who want to go to Suriname?
SPEEDEET: To pay dem river fees? No thanks. I staying right here on Pike Street.
WILAR: Pike Street ain’t got four lanes either.
SPEEDEET: Pike Street barely got two.
De Boys Seh publishes on Thursdays and Sundays. Speedeet and Wilar are fictional characters inspired by Guyanese youth. Any resemblance to real 12-year-olds is because all 12-year-olds are basically the same.