Back-a-Truck: the things Guyanese people actually say. Overheard, reported, and presented without further comment. Every Saturday.

AT STABROEK MARKET, TUESDAY MORNING

“De cash grant reach?” “Not yet.” “Dey say Region 9 getting it now.” “I ain’t in Region 9.” “Well.” “Well.”

EAST BANK, MORNING TRAFFIC, WEDNESDAY

“Move de car nah man!” “Where I moving it to?!” “I don’t know — ANYWHERE.” “Is one lane! Where you want me go — de canal?!” “At this point, yes!”

OUTSIDE A GOVERNMENT OFFICE, THURSDAY

“Dey say de registry tracking all yuh tickets now.” “What registry?” “Digital one. For drivers.” “Tracking dem from when?” “Now on.” “Only from now on?” “I think so.” “Okay so everything I do before today don’t count?” "…I don’t think dat’s how it work." “Worth a try.”

SEAWALL, EASTER MONDAY

“Yuh kite gone.” “I know it gone.” “It gone far.” “I said I know.” “Probably Suriname by now.” "…" “You want some of my roti while you processing?” "…Yes please."

KITTY ROUNDABOUT, ANY DAY

“WHO GIVE YOU YOUR LICENCE?!” [silence] “WHO TEACH YOU TO DRIVE?!” [silence] “TALK NAH!” [window rolls up]

CHINESE SHOP, PIKE STREET, SATURDAY

“String?” “Aisle two.” “De strong kind.” “Also aisle two.” “De really strong kind. Not de kind dat does cut.” "…How much yuh need?" “Enough for a kite. Big one.” “Last week somebody else buy de same thing.” “Dat was us.” “Ah.” “We learning.”

WHATSAPP GROUP ‘PIKE STREET FAMILIES 🏠’

Granny Doris: Has anyone seen my bamboo? Some pieces cut from de back. [Read by 14] [No reply for 2 hours] Speedeet: Granny I can explain Granny Doris: I already know. Granny Doris: How de kite fly? Speedeet: Good! Until de string cut. Granny Doris: Next time use de string in de green box not de shed. Granny Doris: And ask first. Speedeet: Yes Granny. Granny Doris: Good boy.

LINDEN HIGHWAY, THURSDAY

“You hear dey anniversary of de Ronaldo Peters killing?” “Yeah. One year.” “Justice still ain’t come.” “No.” "…" “No.”

END OF DE WEEK OBSERVATION, FRIDAY EVENING, STABROEK

“So Guyana get US$761 million in oil for de quarter.” “Yeah.” “And de road still like dat.” “Yeah.” “And de light still out on my street.” “Yeah.” “But de FPSO producing fine.” “Yeah.” “Okay.” “Okay.”

Back-a-Truck publishes every Saturday. Everything overheard is fictional or composite. The Guyana Daily Brief does not identify real individuals in satirical content.