Uncle Ramesh Sees It Differently – Thursday, April 9, 2026

Uncle Ramesh Sees It Differently

Thursday, April 9, 2026

A pro-government perspective on the week’s events, brought to you by a man who has never once questioned a press release.

THE CASH GRANT APP IS WORKING FINE (FOR SOME DEFINITION OF FINE)

Look, 150,000 people have received or are in the process of receiving their $100,000 cash grant. That is a lot of people. Finance Minister Ashni Singh announced this himself, on Facebook, at night, which is the sign of a man who is dedicated. Yes, some people say the app is slow. Some people say the facial recognition rejected their fifteen-year-old ID photo. But Uncle Ramesh asks: have you considered that the app is simply very thorough? The government has promised the portal will remain open. Help desks are being established. Cheques are being printed for Region Nine residents who don’t have bank accounts. This is a comprehensive rollout. The people who are complaining have simply never been responsible for distributing money to a nation before and therefore lack perspective.

Uncle Ramesh Reports — Monday, April 6, 2026

Uncle Ramesh writes from Queens, New York, where he has lived since 1987 and has strong opinions about a country he visits every three years.

Hello everybody, good morning and God bless.

Well I calling from Queens this morning to tell all you naysayers that this government doing things, and if you can’t see it you need to clean your glasses.

First thing: the airstrip at Karasabai. One point five BILLION dollars, people. That is not small thing. That is Region Nine getting real infrastructure, real access, real development. When last any government build airstrip in the hinterland? Uncle Ramesh remembers the old days when you had to pray to reach them places. Now the President commissioning modern facilities and also setting up border patrol to protect the frontier. This is leadership. This is vision. Some people want to complain about everything but when your President commissioning airstrips in Region Nine, that is progress, full stop.

Uncle Ramesh's Take: Six Dialysis Centres, A Special Envoy, And Some People Just Won't Give Credit

🐒 UNCLE RAMESH’S TAKE 🐒
Your Uncle from Toronto Who Actually Reads the Chronicle
Wednesday, March 25, 2026

Hear nah. People does wake up every morning and complain about this government. They does say: “Ramesh, whuh happening? Whuh the government doing?” And I does tell them the same thing every time: open yuh eyes and look.

Look at the dialysis centres. Six new ones. Six! Because this government understands that when a man sick, he doesn’t need a speech — he needs a machine. That is what caring about people looks like. Not talk. Machine.

Wednesday's Guyana Brief: Noem Lands, Exxon Expands, and the Bridge Is Still Sinking

🇬🇾 THE GUYANA BRIEF 🇬🇾
Your 5-Minute Wednesday News Circus
Wednesday, March 25, 2026 ⏱️ 6 min read

NOEM LANDS IN GUYANA. NO ONE KNOWS WHY.

Kristi Noem — fired as US Secretary of Homeland Security, dusted off, renamed “Special Envoy” — touched down in Guyana this week as part of something called the “Shield of the Americas.” The visit involves meetings with energy companies and conversations about security cooperation, which is Washington-speak for we want to keep an eye on your oil and make sure China doesn’t get any. President Ali confirmed that US-Guyana relations remain strong. Nobody confirmed that Kristi knows where Guyana is on a map.

Progress Report — March 24, 2026: Roads, Grants, and the Promise Tracker

📋 THE PROGRESS REPORT
Tracking What Was Promised vs. What Actually Happened
Week of March 24, 2026

The Progress Report does not take political positions. It tracks things. Things either happened or they didn’t. The tracker doesn’t care who promised them.

✅ THINGS THAT ACTUALLY HAPPENED THIS WEEK

1. Aubrey Barker-Ogle Road Linkage — OPEN

The promise: A road connection to bring relief and opportunity to residents in that corridor.
The result: Open. Residents report relief. ✅

Tuesday's Guyana Brief: Wheelbarrows, Oil Greed, and the Death of a Newspaper

🇬🇾 THE GUYANA BRIEF 🇬🇾
Your 5-Minute Tuesday News Circus
Tuesday, March 24, 2026 ⏱️ 6 min read

Good Morning, Guyana! ☕

Welcome to Tuesday, where our Opposition Leader is now fighting extradition on three continents simultaneously, Exxon wants to pump even MORE oil out of our seabed, and the $100,000 cash grant is making its way into bank accounts across the land like a very slow, very welcome river.

Uncle Ramesh's Take: Cash In Hand, Oil On The Rise, And Some People Just Can't Accept A Good Thing

🇬🇾 UNCLE RAMESH’S TAKE 🇬🇾
Your Uncle from Toronto Who Actually Reads the Chronicle
Tuesday, March 24, 2026

Greetings from Toronto, where the snow is finally deciding to leave us in peace, and where I spent this morning reading the Guyana Chronicle with a very large cup of tea and a growing sense of national pride.

Yes, pride. I know some people in this family — certain cousins who shall remain nameless — prefer to read the Kaieteur News and find doom in everything. But today, Ramesh is going to tell you what is actually happening in Guyana, which is: a lot of good things.

YouTube Scripts – March 24, 2026: Wheelbarrows, Oil, and the CCJ

YOUTUBE SCRIPTS — TUESDAY, MARCH 24, 2026

🎬 SCRIPT 1: 60-SECOND QUICK BRIEF

[INTRO — upbeat music, flag graphic]

Good morning Guyana! It’s Tuesday March 24th and here’s your 60-second news blast.

TOP STORY: The Mohameds have taken their extradition fight to the CCJ — the Caribbean Court of Justice — after losing at the Court of Appeal last week. A Case Management Conference is set for TOMORROW. The legal saga continues.

Progress Report & Rumour Mill — March 2026

📋 PROGRESS REPORT — MARCH 2026

A satirical assessment of government projects and national promises.

PROJECT: $100,000 National Cash Grant STATUS: Partially Launched UPDATE: Bank account holders receiving funds. Citizens without bank accounts waiting on a digital platform “being set up.” No timeline provided. Citizens are encouraged to acquire bank accounts before the next announcement.

PROJECT: Windfall Tax on ExxonMobil Oil Revenue STATUS: Under Eternal Review UPDATE: Kaieteur News calculates a 25% windfall tax would generate US$9 million more per day for the national treasury. The government has reviewed this information. The review of the review is ongoing. A press conference about something else was held.

Uncle Ramesh's Corner — Wednesday, March 19, 2026

Uncle Ramesh reads only the Guyana Chronicle. He is a patriot. He has opinions.

Good morning, everybody! Uncle Ramesh here, fresh from de Chronicle, and let me tell you — today looking POSITIVE.

Oil reach US$100 a barrel! Uncle Ramesh sit down with he morning tea and nearly choke when he see dat. ONE HUNDRED DOLLARS. You know what dat mean? Revenue. Investment. Future. Some people saying dey not feeling it yet — but Uncle Ramesh does always say, good things take time. You ever plant a mango tree? You don’t get mango de same day.

Wednesday Brief: Oil Hits $100, Mohameds Rejected Again, and Guyana's Last Independent Paper is Gone

Your satirical look at today’s Guyanese newspapers — because if you don’t laugh, you cry 🇬🇾

🛢️ Oil Hits US$100 a Barrel and Guyana Has Complicated Feelings

The Middle East conflict has pushed crude to triple digits, which means Guyana is simultaneously experiencing its best financial news of the year and a quiet national existential crisis. Citizens who paid $800 for flour last week are processing this development at their own pace. ExxonMobil said it was “monitoring the situation closely,” which is corporation-speak for “counting the money.”

Uncle Ramesh Responds: BUDGET 2026 IS HERE! $100,000 For EVERYBODY While Opposition Busy Electing Fugitives!

Uncle Ramesh celebrates Budget 2026 and the $100,000 cash grant while questioning why the opposition is electing a man facing US extradition charges.