Bounty Board — April 11, 2026

⚠️ The Bounty Board is satirical fiction. All ‘wanted notices’ target fictional situations, systems, and concepts — never real individuals. Published every Saturday.

🎯 BOUNTY BOARD

Week of April 6–11, 2026

“Wanted: answers. Reward: closure.”

🔴 WANTED: THE CORENTYNE RIVER FEES SOLUTION

Status: At large since approximately forever Last seen: Being discussed at a press conference Description: A bilateral agreement between Guyana and Suriname that would resolve the controversial charges imposed on vessels using the Corentyne River. Described as “imminent” multiple times. Has not appeared. Reward: Regional trade goodwill and the gratitude of every boat captain on the river Tip line: Ask the Ministry. Then ask again. Then wait.

Bam-Bam Sally and de Rumour Mill — April 8, 2026

⚠️ FULL DISCLAIMER: Bam-Bam Sally and de Rumour Mill is 100% fictional satire. Every character, situation, name, and rumour in this column is invented for entertainment purposes only. No real persons are identified, targeted, or described. This content complies fully with Guyana’s Cybercrime Act. If you think this is about you, it is not, because none of it is about anyone.

“Sally mouth big but Sally heart bigger. Mostly de mouth though.”

Back-A-Truck — March 19, 2026

Back-A-Truck: Guyana’s fictional marketplace. All listings fictional. All prices negotiable. No returns.

FOR SALE: One nearly-functioning ceiling fan. Does work. Does also make a sound like a small helicopter preparing for takeoff. You will get used to it. Selling because wife says she can’t think. $4,500 or best offer. Call after 6pm when she sleeping.

WANTED: A tradesman who will actually show up on the day agreed. Not the day after. Not three days after. Not “later in the week.” THE. DAY. AGREED. Willing to pay premium. Willing to cook lunch. Will write a testimonial. Will name firstborn after you if necessary. Please be real.

Bam-Bam Sally's Corner — March 19, 2026

Bam-Bam Sally is a fictional neighbourhood auntie. Her opinions are her own. All gossip is fictional.

Adjusts housedress. Leans on gate. Begins.

So I hear oil reach one hundred dollars a barrel. ONE HUNDRED. And I say to my neighbour — de nice one, not de one with de dog — I say, “You feel we gon see any of dat?” And she look at me. And I look at she. And we both start laugh until we nearly fall down. Because we know, darling. We KNOW.

Bounty Board — March 19, 2026

The Bounty Board: fictional rewards for fictional problems. All listings satirical.

🔴 WANTED: Whoever designed the road markings on a certain roundabout in Georgetown

The markings suggest going left means going right, straight means something else, and the yield sign is decorative. Three near-accidents last Tuesday alone. One driver stopped in the middle of the roundabout and got out to look at the lines from different angles. He’s still not sure.

De Boys Seh — March 19, 2026

All characters are fictional. All scenarios are fictional. This is satire.

De boys seh dat a fictional contractor from somewhere on de fictional East Coast recently win a big government job, show up to sign de contract in a brand new truck, and then the very next day de truck wasn’t outside his house no more. De boys say it wasn’t his truck to begin with. De boys say he borrow it from his brother-in-law for de signing because “appearances matter.” De boys say de brother-in-law now want he truck back and de contractor saying it “temporarily unavailable.” De boys watching dis situation closely.

DJ Roadblock's Friday Wind-Down — March 19, 2026

DJ Roadblock broadcasting live from de booth. All gossip fictional. All vibes very real.

🎵 Tune in, tune in, tune in… 🎵

WHAT IS GOING ON GUYANA, it’s your boy DJ ROADBLOCK coming to you LIVE from de only radio station dat tell it like it is — even when it hurt.

We reaching the end of MARCH and de week has been a WEEK, people. Let we run it down.

Speedeet & Wilar: De Chinese Restaurant Adventure

When Wilar’s uncle knows the owner of a Chinese restaurant near Kitty Cinema, the boys get a behind-the-scenes tour that changes everything Speedeet thought he knew about fried rice.

Bam-Bam Sally's Rumor Mill: The Opposition Leader Tea Is SCALDING This Week

The completely fictional whispers making rounds in Georgetown this week. All names changed, all situations imagined, all entertainment guaranteed.