Back-a-Truck — April 11, 2026

Back-a-Truck: the things Guyanese people actually say. Overheard, reported, and presented without further comment. Every Saturday.

AT STABROEK MARKET, TUESDAY MORNING

“De cash grant reach?” “Not yet.” “Dey say Region 9 getting it now.” “I ain’t in Region 9.” “Well.” “Well.”

EAST BANK, MORNING TRAFFIC, WEDNESDAY

“Move de car nah man!” “Where I moving it to?!” “I don’t know — ANYWHERE.” “Is one lane! Where you want me go — de canal?!” “At this point, yes!”

Bounty Board — April 11, 2026

⚠️ The Bounty Board is satirical fiction. All ‘wanted notices’ target fictional situations, systems, and concepts — never real individuals. Published every Saturday.

🎯 BOUNTY BOARD

Week of April 6–11, 2026

“Wanted: answers. Reward: closure.”

🔴 WANTED: THE CORENTYNE RIVER FEES SOLUTION

Status: At large since approximately forever Last seen: Being discussed at a press conference Description: A bilateral agreement between Guyana and Suriname that would resolve the controversial charges imposed on vessels using the Corentyne River. Described as “imminent” multiple times. Has not appeared. Reward: Regional trade goodwill and the gratitude of every boat captain on the river Tip line: Ask the Ministry. Then ask again. Then wait.

DJ Roadblock — Friday, April 10, 2026

🚗 DJ ROADBLOCK — Friday April 10, 2026 🚗 Spinning the hits and dodging the potholes since forever

Goooood morning Georgetown! It is FRIDAY and DJ Roadblock is LIVE in your ears, your eyes, and unfortunately also in your windshield because traffic is not playing today, people. Buckle up. Literally. It is the law and also survival.

🔴 EAST BANK DEMERARA: FULL LOCKDOWN ENERGY

People. East Bank this morning is what the government would describe as “a dynamic transportation situation” and what everyone sitting in it is describing as something I cannot print. The usual suspects: school drop-off traffic converging with people heading to Georgetown for work, construction equipment parked in a way that suggests the operator believes cars are optional, and that one minibus that has decided its personal schedule supersedes all traffic laws and the concept of lanes.

De Boys Seh — April 9, 2026

De Boys Seh is written from the perspective of Speedeet and Wilar — two 12-year-old boys from Pike Street, Kitty, Georgetown. Speedeet is Black, Wilar is East Indian. They are best friends and they have opinions about everything.

WILAR: Speedeet. Speedeet. Yuh hear de government give out $100,000 to people?

SPEEDEET: Yeah man. My granny get she cheque. She buy a new pot and put de rest in de bible.

De Boys Seh — April 6, 2026

De Boys Seh — Speedeet and Wilar from Pike Street with their Sunday take on the week.

WILAR: Speedeet. You know dey say de government announcing a digital registry for drivers?

SPEEDEET: Yeah. Track all yuh tickets and violations.

WILAR: You think they doing one for kite flyers too?

SPEEDEET: (pause) For kite flying?

WILAR: Our kite hit a woman roti today.

SPEEDEET: That was an accident.

WILAR: An accident that could be in a registry.

Back-A-Truck — March 19, 2026

Back-A-Truck: Guyana’s fictional marketplace. All listings fictional. All prices negotiable. No returns.

FOR SALE: One nearly-functioning ceiling fan. Does work. Does also make a sound like a small helicopter preparing for takeoff. You will get used to it. Selling because wife says she can’t think. $4,500 or best offer. Call after 6pm when she sleeping.

WANTED: A tradesman who will actually show up on the day agreed. Not the day after. Not three days after. Not “later in the week.” THE. DAY. AGREED. Willing to pay premium. Willing to cook lunch. Will write a testimonial. Will name firstborn after you if necessary. Please be real.

Bam-Bam Sally's Corner — March 19, 2026

Bam-Bam Sally is a fictional neighbourhood auntie. Her opinions are her own. All gossip is fictional.

Adjusts housedress. Leans on gate. Begins.

So I hear oil reach one hundred dollars a barrel. ONE HUNDRED. And I say to my neighbour — de nice one, not de one with de dog — I say, “You feel we gon see any of dat?” And she look at me. And I look at she. And we both start laugh until we nearly fall down. Because we know, darling. We KNOW.

Bounty Board — March 19, 2026

The Bounty Board: fictional rewards for fictional problems. All listings satirical.

🔴 WANTED: Whoever designed the road markings on a certain roundabout in Georgetown

The markings suggest going left means going right, straight means something else, and the yield sign is decorative. Three near-accidents last Tuesday alone. One driver stopped in the middle of the roundabout and got out to look at the lines from different angles. He’s still not sure.

DJ Roadblock's Friday Wind-Down — March 19, 2026

DJ Roadblock broadcasting live from de booth. All gossip fictional. All vibes very real.

🎵 Tune in, tune in, tune in… 🎵

WHAT IS GOING ON GUYANA, it’s your boy DJ ROADBLOCK coming to you LIVE from de only radio station dat tell it like it is — even when it hurt.

We reaching the end of MARCH and de week has been a WEEK, people. Let we run it down.

Patriots Portfolio — Week of March 19, 2026

The Patriots Portfolio: treating Guyana’s national developments as investment opportunities since we had nothing better to do. Not financial advice. Not any kind of advice, actually.

📈 BUY

Oil at US$100/barrel Guyana produces oil. Oil is at $100 a barrel. The math here is straightforward. Whether the math reaches your pocket is a separate and more complicated calculation, but the macro position is strong. We are bullish on the barrel. We are cautiously optimistic about the trickle-down. We remain watchful for the trickle. Confidence: High. Arrival timeline: TBD.

Speedeet & Wilar: De Science Experiment

A Speedeet & Wilar Story

It started, as most things did, with Speedeet having an idea.

“Wilar.” He appeared at the gate with a plastic bag and an expression that Wilar had learned to treat as a warning. “You know how vinegar and baking soda does make dat explosion thing?”

Wilar looked up from his book. “It’s not an explosion. It’s a chemical reaction. Carbon dioxide gas is released when an acid meets a base, creating—”

🗣️ Bam-Bam Sally's Rumor Mill: Super Bowl Flag, Pump Station Drama, and Who Blacklisted Who

Bam-Bam Sally heard that somebody in the diaspora paid Bad Bunny to wave the Guyana flag, a certain pump station contractor is hiding from the Minister, and the blacklist is longer than 30 names.

🔥 Bam-Bam Sally's Rumor Mill: January 24, 2026

⚠️ DISCLAIMER: This is a SATIRICAL gossip column. ALL names, characters, and scenarios are ENTIRELY FICTIONAL. Any resemblance to real persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental. This is meant for entertainment purposes only. No actual gossip or real people are referenced here.

🎤 WAH GWAAN GUYANA! IS BAM-BAM SALLY HERE WITH DE TEA! ☕

Chile, dis week been SPICY! Me phone ringing off de hook with people wanting to share dem stories. So grab yuh doubles, sit down good, and let Bam-Bam tell yuh wah going on in de streets!

Bam-Bam Sally's Rumor Mill: The Opposition Leader Tea Is SCALDING This Week

The completely fictional whispers making rounds in Georgetown this week. All names changed, all situations imagined, all entertainment guaranteed.

The Rumor Mill: What Georgetown Whispering This Week

The completely fictional whispers making rounds in Georgetown this week. All names changed, all situations imagined, all entertainment guaranteed.