Welcome to Friday, where our oil fields are being liquidated faster than a closing-down sale, our Speaker fled to India while Parliament remains closed, and Exxon’s 75% “expense deduction” makes Nigerian email scams look amateur.
Today’s menu: The Great Oil Heist exposed (75% goes to “costs”), Speaker escapes to India during constitutional crisis, French Ambassador politely suggests democracy might be nice, Mashramani launches because at least we can party, and President Ali promises no Venezuela deals (this time he means it, promise).