Back-a-Truck — April 11, 2026

Back-a-Truck: the things Guyanese people actually say. Overheard, reported, and presented without further comment. Every Saturday.

AT STABROEK MARKET, TUESDAY MORNING

“De cash grant reach?” “Not yet.” “Dey say Region 9 getting it now.” “I ain’t in Region 9.” “Well.” “Well.”

EAST BANK, MORNING TRAFFIC, WEDNESDAY

“Move de car nah man!” “Where I moving it to?!” “I don’t know — ANYWHERE.” “Is one lane! Where you want me go — de canal?!” “At this point, yes!”

Bounty Board — April 11, 2026

⚠️ The Bounty Board is satirical fiction. All ‘wanted notices’ target fictional situations, systems, and concepts — never real individuals. Published every Saturday.

🎯 BOUNTY BOARD

Week of April 6–11, 2026

“Wanted: answers. Reward: closure.”

🔴 WANTED: THE CORENTYNE RIVER FEES SOLUTION

Status: At large since approximately forever Last seen: Being discussed at a press conference Description: A bilateral agreement between Guyana and Suriname that would resolve the controversial charges imposed on vessels using the Corentyne River. Described as “imminent” multiple times. Has not appeared. Reward: Regional trade goodwill and the gratitude of every boat captain on the river Tip line: Ask the Ministry. Then ask again. Then wait.

Bam-Bam Sally and de Rumour Mill — April 8, 2026

⚠️ FULL DISCLAIMER: Bam-Bam Sally and de Rumour Mill is 100% fictional satire. Every character, situation, name, and rumour in this column is invented for entertainment purposes only. No real persons are identified, targeted, or described. This content complies fully with Guyana’s Cybercrime Act. If you think this is about you, it is not, because none of it is about anyone.

“Sally mouth big but Sally heart bigger. Mostly de mouth though.”

The Rumour Mill — April 8, 2026

⚠️ DISCLAIMER: The Rumour Mill is entirely fictional satire. All characters, situations, and “rumours” presented here are invented for entertainment purposes only. Any resemblance to real persons, living or dead, is coincidental. This content is produced in compliance with Guyana’s Cybercrime Act. No real individuals are identified or targeted.

“If yuh ain’t hear it from me, yuh ain’t hear it at all.” — Bam-Bam Sally, every Wednesday since she had a tongue

De Boys Seh – Thursday, April 2, 2026

De boys liming on the corner of Robb and Hincks. What deh say? Well…

On the tint crackdown:

“Bai, deh pull over every man except the one in de blacked-out government SUV. Dat one just drive straight through.”

“De minister say ‘don’t call me.’ She know exactly who does call.”

“Listen, meh tint was 24% — one percent too dark. Deh fine meh thirty thousand dollars. Meanwhile de man who thief fourteen million in aircraft parts get bail in four hours.”

Rumour Mill – Wednesday, April 1, 2026

What the papers can’t print, the Mill will grind. All rumours are unverified. Some are implausible. A few might be true. We’ll never tell.

🌀 Word on the street is that when the Digital Identity Card Act commencement was announced, at least three senior civil servants had to quickly Google what the Data Protection Act actually says. Just to check. You know. For completeness.

🌀 A little bird at City Hall whispers that the list of ratepayers being taken to court is, shall we say, politically diverse. One name allegedly on the draft list called in a favour. The name has since been reviewed. Nothing confirmed. The Mill just grinds.

Back-A-Truck — March 19, 2026

Back-A-Truck: Guyana’s fictional marketplace. All listings fictional. All prices negotiable. No returns.

FOR SALE: One nearly-functioning ceiling fan. Does work. Does also make a sound like a small helicopter preparing for takeoff. You will get used to it. Selling because wife says she can’t think. $4,500 or best offer. Call after 6pm when she sleeping.

WANTED: A tradesman who will actually show up on the day agreed. Not the day after. Not three days after. Not “later in the week.” THE. DAY. AGREED. Willing to pay premium. Willing to cook lunch. Will write a testimonial. Will name firstborn after you if necessary. Please be real.

Bam-Bam Sally's Corner — March 19, 2026

Bam-Bam Sally is a fictional neighbourhood auntie. Her opinions are her own. All gossip is fictional.

Adjusts housedress. Leans on gate. Begins.

So I hear oil reach one hundred dollars a barrel. ONE HUNDRED. And I say to my neighbour — de nice one, not de one with de dog — I say, “You feel we gon see any of dat?” And she look at me. And I look at she. And we both start laugh until we nearly fall down. Because we know, darling. We KNOW.

Bounty Board — March 19, 2026

The Bounty Board: fictional rewards for fictional problems. All listings satirical.

🔴 WANTED: Whoever designed the road markings on a certain roundabout in Georgetown

The markings suggest going left means going right, straight means something else, and the yield sign is decorative. Three near-accidents last Tuesday alone. One driver stopped in the middle of the roundabout and got out to look at the lines from different angles. He’s still not sure.

Caribbean Daily Brief — Wednesday, March 19, 2026

Your weekly satirical roundup of news from across the Caribbean — because the whole region deserves coverage, not just one country 🌴

🇯🇲 JAMAICA: Gas Up, Telecom Still Down, and the NHF Spent Billions on Obesity

Jamaican motorists woke up Thursday to gasoline at $170.83 per litre — up $4.50 at the pump, courtesy of Petrojam’s latest ex-refinery price adjustment. The Middle East oil surge is being felt from Kingston to Westmoreland, and in Westmoreland they have enough other problems. Five months after Hurricane Melissa, residents are still describing conditions there as “hellish” — patchy mobile service, spotty internet, and a general sense that the rest of the country moved on while they were still bailing out. Digicel says towers will be fully restored by end of April. Residents have heard this before.

De Boys Seh — March 19, 2026

All characters are fictional. All scenarios are fictional. This is satire.

De boys seh dat a fictional contractor from somewhere on de fictional East Coast recently win a big government job, show up to sign de contract in a brand new truck, and then the very next day de truck wasn’t outside his house no more. De boys say it wasn’t his truck to begin with. De boys say he borrow it from his brother-in-law for de signing because “appearances matter.” De boys say de brother-in-law now want he truck back and de contractor saying it “temporarily unavailable.” De boys watching dis situation closely.

DJ Roadblock's Friday Wind-Down — March 19, 2026

DJ Roadblock broadcasting live from de booth. All gossip fictional. All vibes very real.

🎵 Tune in, tune in, tune in… 🎵

WHAT IS GOING ON GUYANA, it’s your boy DJ ROADBLOCK coming to you LIVE from de only radio station dat tell it like it is — even when it hurt.

We reaching the end of MARCH and de week has been a WEEK, people. Let we run it down.

Patriots Portfolio — Week of March 19, 2026

The Patriots Portfolio: treating Guyana’s national developments as investment opportunities since we had nothing better to do. Not financial advice. Not any kind of advice, actually.

📈 BUY

Oil at US$100/barrel Guyana produces oil. Oil is at $100 a barrel. The math here is straightforward. Whether the math reaches your pocket is a separate and more complicated calculation, but the macro position is strong. We are bullish on the barrel. We are cautiously optimistic about the trickle-down. We remain watchful for the trickle. Confidence: High. Arrival timeline: TBD.

☕ The Daily Brief – Tuesday, February 17, 2026

Opposition Leader arrested for being 35 minutes late to court. An NCN cameraman brought a gun to the same court. Hakeem Olajuwon wants to sell you a condo for US$150K. Stabroek News mourning continues. Ali wants a 6-week health campaign. And the US just blew up another boat in the Caribbean.

🇬🇾 Uncle Ramesh Responds – Tuesday, February 17, 2026

Uncle Ramesh reads the Chronicle from Queens and sets the record straight on Energy Conference, telemedicine, airports, health campaign, and Hakeem Olajuwon’s investment in Guyana.

Monday's Guyana Brief: Azruddin Shows Up Late to His Own Extradition, the Haags Bosch Office Hits $19.6 Billion, and Single Mothers Get Eviction Notices

Good morning, Guyana! ☕

Welcome to Monday, where the Opposition Leader can’t show up on time to his own extradition hearing, the government’s office complex now costs more than some countries’ GDP, and single mothers near a Chinese friendship park are being told to pack their bags. Happy Monday!

Today’s menu: Azruddin gets an arrest warrant (briefly), the Haags Bosch money pit deepens, Schoonard residents face eviction, Dr. Frank Anthony can’t catch a break, and the Manickchand/Region 10 drama continues to be absolutely hilarious.

Sunday's Guyana Brief: Stabroek News Dies, Nobody Gets Their Money, and Kingston Wharf Belongs to Oil People Now

Good morning, Guyana! ☕

Welcome to Sunday, where we pour one out for Stabroek News, the government pretends to be sad about it, and the entire Kingston Wharf has been commandeered so oil executives can park their yachts. Sorry, “exhibitors.”

Today’s menu: A 39-year-old newspaper dies and everybody has an opinion, the Energy Conference takes over Georgetown’s waterfront, and the Budget debate continues to prove that Parliament is where good ideas go to get shouted at.

☕ The Daily Brief – Friday, February 13, 2026

Stabroek News announces closure after 39 years. Georgetown swamped by 4-inch rainfall. Mohamed’s cambio evidence mounts. Mottley wins AGAIN. Oil boom stealing police officers. And rockets are launching from our backyard.

🗣️ Bam-Bam Sally's Rumor Mill: Super Bowl Flag, Pump Station Drama, and Who Blacklisted Who

Bam-Bam Sally heard that somebody in the diaspora paid Bad Bunny to wave the Guyana flag, a certain pump station contractor is hiding from the Minister, and the blacklist is longer than 30 names.

De Boys Seh: Exxon Collecting Ships Like Sticker Book

De Boys Seh is overheard commentary from a fictional rum shop somewhere in Georgetown. The boys have opinions about everything and expertise in nothing. All characters are fictional.

De boys seh Exxon just buy de fourth oil ship and now dem own ALL four. De boys seh dat is like somebody renting yuh house, buying all de furniture, putting in dey own locks, and den telling you “but is still YOUR house though.” De boys seh de house might be yours on paper but try and sit down in de living room and see what happen.