January 24, 2026 • 6 min readDaily Brief
Your satirical summary of Guyana’s news — Read all four papers in 5-6 minutes so you don’t have to!
🏛️ OPPOSITION LEADER DRAMA: THE LONGEST ELECTION EVER
The Headlines:
- APNU says they’ll likely abstain from Opposition Leader vote
- Mohamed says he’s “scared” ahead of Monday’s vote
- APNU warns cut borrowing for Budget 2026 as oil prices slide
The Brief:
So Monday’s the big day, right? Wrong. We’ve been saying “Monday’s the big day” since September. Azruddin Mohamed, the US-indicted gold dealer who somehow controls a quarter of the National Assembly, is apparently “scared” about the Opposition Leader vote. Scared of what? Losing? Winning? Having to explain to his American lawyers why he’s running a country instead of running from an extradition warrant?
Read More → January 23, 2026 • 3 min readPatriots Portfolio
Satire
Your weekly satirical investment advice from the most patriotic portfolio manager in Guyana.
Read More → January 22, 2026 • 5 min readThe Rumor Mill
Entertainment
The completely fictional whispers making rounds in Georgetown this week. All names changed, all situations imagined, all entertainment guaranteed.
Read More → January 21, 2026 • 3 min readProgress Report
Accountability
Tracking what the government promised vs what’s actually happening. This week: Solar farms on track, garbage collection off track, and the eternal question of when that overpass is coming.
Read More → January 21, 2026 • 4 min readThe Rumor Mill
Entertainment
The completely fictional whispers making rounds in Georgetown this week. All names changed, all situations imagined, all entertainment guaranteed.
Read More → January 21, 2026 • 6 min readDaily Brief
Opposition Leader election finally set for Monday, Police Academy sexual exploitation scandal rocks the force, and Georgetown garbage crisis deepens as Mayor backs out of meeting.
Read More → January 21, 2026 • 5 min readUncle Ramesh
Opinion
Uncle Ramesh celebrates the Opposition Leader election announcement, defends Georgetown’s garbage situation, and explains why solar power proves the PPP is the best thing since sliced bread.
Read More → January 21, 2026 • 5 min readUncle Ramesh
Uncle Ramesh from Queens explains why the Opposition Leader delay is actually democracy at work, the Police Academy scandal is opposition propaganda, and Georgetown garbage is a City Hall problem.
Read More → January 21, 2026 • 5 min readDaily Brief
Guyana News
Speaker Nadir finally schedules Opposition Leader vote for Monday while calling candidate an ‘international fugitive.’ Plus: Linden gets solar farms, Georgetown drowning in garbage, and the Mohameds saga continues. Your 5-minute news circus.
Read More → January 20, 2026 • 5 min readDaily Brief
Your 5-minute Guyanese news circus — now with 100% less cash grants ☕🇬🇾
💸 CASH GRANTS: “NOT SUSTAINABLE” — PRESIDENT
What Happened: President Ali declared that future cash grants are “not sustainable,” warning that “some people would use this as a political opportunity.”
The Backstory: Just one year ago, the government was “committed to making future cash grants.” What a difference 365 days makes!
The Math:
- 2025: “We are committed to future cash grants!”
- 2026: “Cash grants are not sustainable.”
- Also 2026: Oil production approaching 1 million barrels per day.
Dem Boys Seh: “When election coming, cash grant sustainable. When election done, cash grant unsustainable. Is like magic — de money just disappear!”
Read More → January 20, 2026 • 5 min readUncle Ramesh
From Queens, New York — Where we understand fiscal responsibility 🇬🇾🗽
Greetings from the Diaspora!
Ah, another day, another set of headlines from Guyana that the critics want to twist into something negative. But Uncle Ramesh here to set the record straight for all my fellow Guyanese overseas who want to understand what’s REALLY happening in we homeland.
💰 ON CASH GRANTS: RESPONSIBLE LEADERSHIP
So the President said cash grants are “not sustainable,” and suddenly everybody vex? Let me ask you something: which responsible government just keeps handing out money without a plan?
Read More → January 19, 2026 • 5 min readBounty Board
Disclaimer: Uncle Ramesh is a proud supporter of de government. Dese bounties are satirical and offered in de spirit of “asking questions dat even supporters does wonder about.” All rewards are subject to availability, mood, and whether Uncle Ramesh remember he promise dem.
🎯 WELCOME TO DE BOUNTY BOARD
Awright family! Is Uncle Ramesh here, coming to you LIVE from me recliner in Queens!
Now look — me always saying de government doing GREAT tings. 37,000 solar panels! New airstrips! Bridges! Development EVERYWHERE!
Read More → January 19, 2026 • 6 min readThe Rumor Mill
⚠️ IMPORTANT DISCLAIMER: De Rumor Mill is ENTIRELY FICTIONAL and for entertainment purposes ONLY. All characters, names, businesses, places, events, and incidents in dis column are either de products of de author’s imagination or used in a fictitious manner. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, or actual events is PURELY COINCIDENTAL. Dis is SATIRE, not news. If yuh tek dis serious, dat’s on YOU!
🔥 CHILE! IS YUH GIRL BAM-BAM SALLY!
Grab yuh mauby and pull up a chair because dis week? DIS WEEK DE TEA SO HOT IT COULD BOIL COOK-UP!
Read More → January 19, 2026 • 4 min readBack-a-Truck
Welcome to Back-a-Truck — where we showcase de tings you see in Guyana dat make you say “Wait… WHAT?!” Because in dis country, de unbelievable is just another Tuesday.
🏆 THIS WEEK’S HALL OF FAME
🥇 FIRST PLACE: De Solar Panel Goat Shelter
Location: Somewhere in Region Nine
Spotted by: A very confused government inspector
You know dem 37,000 solar panels de government distributing to hinterland communities? Beautiful initiative. Clean energy. Progress.
Read More → January 18, 2026 • 4 min readNews
Daily Brief
Another US$18M hotel opens, your medical records go online, President Ali says cash grants aren’t sustainable (after promising one), Women’s cricket squad stays undefeated, and Fruta Conquerors lose their president after 11 months.
Read More → January 17, 2026 • 5 min readBounty Board
Disclaimer: Uncle Ramesh is a proud supporter of de government. Dese bounties are purely satirical and offered in de spirit of “asking questions dat everybody thinking but nobody saying.” All rewards are subject to availability, government approval, and whether Uncle Ramesh remember he promise dem.
🎯 WELCOME TO DE BOUNTY BOARD
Awright, awright, awright! Is Uncle Ramesh here. Now look, me always saying de government doing great tings. GREAT TINGS! But even me, de biggest supporter, got a few… let we call dem “curiosities.”
Read More → January 17, 2026 • 2 min readPatriots Portfolio
Uncle Ramesh’s Weekly Celebration of Guyanese Excellence
🌟 This Week’s Patriot: Dr. Goldenheart Perseverance
The Healer Who Never Bills Twice
The Legend
Every week, Uncle Ramesh searches high and low for Guyanese who exemplify the True Patriot Spirit™ - that special combination of unwavering government support, photogenic community service, and the ability to appear at ribbon-cutting ceremonies on short notice.
This week, we celebrate Dr. Goldenheart Perseverance, a physician whose dedication to healing is matched only by her dedication to praising every new government health initiative, regardless of whether the clinic has running water.
Read More → January 17, 2026 • 6 min readDaily Brief
News
Security guards caught with toy guns at supermarkets, US$8.14M solar farm lights up Charity, GBTI launches private banking for the rich, and Guyana Women seek redemption against Jamaica under the lights!
Read More → January 17, 2026 • 4 min readBack-a-Truck
Welcome to Back-a-Truck, where we showcase de most absurd, hilarious, and head-scratching sightings from around Guyana. If yuh see someting dat mek yuh say “Wait… wha?!” - send it to we!
🏆 SIGHTING OF THE WEEK
📍 Location: Sheriff Street, Georgetown
📅 Spotted: Tuesday, January 14
One traffic cop writing three different tickets while standing directly in front of a ‘No Parking’ sign… dat he park in front of.
De irony so thick yuh could cut it wid a cutlass. We salute you, Officer. Rules fuh thee but not fuh me! 🫡
Read More → January 16, 2026 • 6 min readDaily Brief
News
Good morning, Guyana! ☕
Welcome to Friday, where our oil fields are being liquidated faster than a closing-down sale, our Speaker fled to India while Parliament remains closed, and Exxon’s 75% “expense deduction” makes Nigerian email scams look amateur.
Today’s menu: The Great Oil Heist exposed (75% goes to “costs”), Speaker escapes to India during constitutional crisis, French Ambassador politely suggests democracy might be nice, Mashramani launches because at least we can party, and President Ali promises no Venezuela deals (this time he means it, promise).
Read More →